For everyone who is planning to participate in Walking the Medicine Wheel 2011, when your package arrives, read through the folder on the Constitutional Pattern. This will prepare you for beginning the process.
Your constitutional pattern includes information on the element archetype present in your physical form. This is 50% of your pattern, inherited through your DNA from your ancestors. This element comes with its own inherent characteristics, qualities, tendencies, and issues.
The other 50% of your constitutional pattern comes in with you before birth, and reflects the soul's intention for this lifetime. It is called your cosmic pattern, and is generated from accumulated traumas, unresolved issues, preferences, and habits acquired through many lifetimes of incarnation.
Together, these two parts of the constitutional pattern form an energetic foundation for how you will experience the reality in this incarnation, which issues will be presented, and where the potential for healing lies. The Grace and Sovereignty section will describe the attitude and characteristics of one who has resolved the pattern you are working with.
The schedule for online Talking Circles is as follows:
Sunday, January 9--Opening Ceremony Talking Circle--9:00 pm Arizona Mountain time
Sunday, January 30--South Direction Talking Circle--9:00 pm Arizona Mountain time
Sunday, February 20--West Direction Talking Circle--9:00 pm Arizona Mountain time
Sunday, March 13--North Direction Talking Circle--9:00 pm Arizona Mountain time
Sunday, April 10--Closing Ceremony Talking Circle--9:00 pm Arizona Mountain time
We will begin each ceremony with a song or drumming, so if you have a drum or rattle, please have them available for the ceremony. For the opening ceremony, you may want to have your cedar bark smudge stick (included in package), matches, and a fire-proof ash tray or small bucket to contain the smudge.
We will hold the ceremonies exactly as if we are all together in one room, as the elders have taught the Talking Circle. You should all receive an e-mail from webex inviting you to the first one, with information on how to log on. I recommend you log on at least 15 minutes early before the ceremony starts the first time since there is a little software to download.
We look forward to our special time together!
Kachina and BThunder
Thursday, December 30
Sunday, December 26
Beginning the Medicine Wheel Walk 2011
On Friday night, Blew Thunder and I went into the temporary kiva space that was recently set up under guidance from the Grandmothers. We did a ceremony, calling in the spirits of the four directions, Mother Earth, Father Sky, and the Great Spirit to hold a sacred space for us and all the others who will be walking the Medicine Wheel with us beginning on January 9th.
We made our prayers and set intentions for healing the constitutional patterns that each of us will be working with. And we gave thanks for the coyote and the fox, each of whom has appeared to us very dramatically as we are preparing the packages for the Medicine Wheel Walk. We feel they are bringing a special medicine and support from the animal world for this particular journey.
Blue Thunder and I welcome each of you to this journey, and especially to this BLOG, our sacred space on the internet. We encourage each of you to write to it regularly as you walk through the 90 day process. Even if you are "not a writer", there is a huge benefit to the act of posting to the BLOG, even if it is just a few words to let people know you are still participating. Taking an action in the physical world that is in alignment with our intentions, is one of the keys to manifestation. So we encourage everyone to participate without judgement, without comparing yourself to anyone else, and without attachment.
This sacred Talking Circle has only a few conditions. One is that, no matter what is expressed here in these pages, it is honored as truth for that individual. And what is expressed here, stays here. We honor the privacy of each individual, and the intention for this space.
My agreement last year was to write 5 days every week to the BLOG. This year we have added an online Talking Circle ceremony that will be held 5 times through the journey. With this addition, and with the other projects we are involved with at this time, I am committing to write to the BLOG once a week for the 90 days. If every one who is walking the medicine wheel does the same, we will have an average of 1 to 2 new posts every day.
I send out a blessing to each one who making this transformative journey, for receiving the healing and positive changes that we are all seeking. May your Medicine Wheel Walk bring miracles and fulfillment on every level.
Aho!
Kachina
Wednesday, May 19
The Sacred Circle Comes to a Close
It is with great joy and a small bittersweet sensation that I acknowledge the closure of this sacred 90 Day space. It has once again been an amazing ride around the Medicine Wheel for me, and it seems so for others too.
I thank Earth Song for asking for the blog to continue. After careful consideration, Blew Thunder and I both came to the same realization. This sacred space was opened up for 90 days, and the original agreement will be honored. If we were to change the agreement at this time, it somehow feels like the sacredness would be diluted a little. I guess this closure helps us feel the emotional truth around completion (one of the gifts of the North, that we all try to avoid at one time or another).
I do, however, encourage all Bloggers from the 90 day journey who are not yet complete with their own process, to form a new blog. Anyone who would like to hold the space for the rest of the group can simply go to the Living the Dream blog and click on "Create Blog" at the top of the page. You will then have to sign in, and it will walk you through the very simple process of creating a blog.
When someone out there does create a continuation blog, e-mail us and we will forward the site to everyone who was on the 90 day program. In this way, we can honor the sacred space provided here AND create a new space for continuation for those who would like to do so.
Now it is time to say farewell. The Blog will remain accessible online for anyone to refer back to it as they desire. In January, this sacred circle will open once again, with new tools and intentions.
Many blessings for the unique and beautiful path we all walk together on Mother Earth!
Kachina
I thank Earth Song for asking for the blog to continue. After careful consideration, Blew Thunder and I both came to the same realization. This sacred space was opened up for 90 days, and the original agreement will be honored. If we were to change the agreement at this time, it somehow feels like the sacredness would be diluted a little. I guess this closure helps us feel the emotional truth around completion (one of the gifts of the North, that we all try to avoid at one time or another).
I do, however, encourage all Bloggers from the 90 day journey who are not yet complete with their own process, to form a new blog. Anyone who would like to hold the space for the rest of the group can simply go to the Living the Dream blog and click on "Create Blog" at the top of the page. You will then have to sign in, and it will walk you through the very simple process of creating a blog.
When someone out there does create a continuation blog, e-mail us and we will forward the site to everyone who was on the 90 day program. In this way, we can honor the sacred space provided here AND create a new space for continuation for those who would like to do so.
Now it is time to say farewell. The Blog will remain accessible online for anyone to refer back to it as they desire. In January, this sacred circle will open once again, with new tools and intentions.
Many blessings for the unique and beautiful path we all walk together on Mother Earth!
Kachina
Tuesday, May 18
And just like that, I'm back on!
We had an amazing, sacred get together last night at Joni Mistwalker's home, and it turns out I am not the only one who is "restarting" this 90 day journey. I resonated so deeply with what everyone talked about last night, and it seems we are all in the same space, more or less. I am elated with "my" idea of restarting my journey, and feel so deeply that this was exactly the way it was supposed to happen for me. I am so thankful that I listened and did not force myself through the journal and blog in order to follow the instructions. I think I am stepping into a new life where there are no instructions. For me, there is something very, very special about doing this journey with my garden this summer, and I have to say, I am connecting with the garden like I never have before. I am also deeply connected to the coloring in my journal like never before, almost like I can't get enough. It's great, and I can't explain it. There is something deep going on with my coloring. Even though I am reading the blog day by day from where I left off (in March) I felt a very strong urge to share anyway, as tends to happen I guess during this process. I would like to ask if we could keep the blog going, for those of us who are still in our process, and for those who are following our processes.
I would also like to thank everyone for the talking circle last night-that is just what I needed without knowing it. And, a very special thank you to SisterRavenHair for all of her help in the garden. Very interestingly, my boyfriend, who hasn't worked all winter, got called back to work last week for most of the summer. SisterRavenHair has been an angel, and thanks to her, the garden is coming along like never before.
Pilomay-ya, EarthSong.
I would also like to thank everyone for the talking circle last night-that is just what I needed without knowing it. And, a very special thank you to SisterRavenHair for all of her help in the garden. Very interestingly, my boyfriend, who hasn't worked all winter, got called back to work last week for most of the summer. SisterRavenHair has been an angel, and thanks to her, the garden is coming along like never before.
Pilomay-ya, EarthSong.
Sunday, May 16
The Gratitude of North
With tomorrow being a Blue Cosmic Storm, (my glyph)-and a portal, and a triple blue day; AND the completion of this 90 day journey, reflecting back on my blood family is up front and center. About three weeks ago, my second oldest brother Greg called me for the second time in 52 years.
At first my mind panicked, of what could be wrong, for Greg has moved back home to assist my mom so she does not have to leave her home. His call was to tell me that he was proud of me, and that he knows that I walked a very challenging path, and he expressed his sadness about being unable to provide the protection that he thought he was responsible for. I felt throughout the conversation that this was his completion call.
Back last June, Kachina and I went to Salt Lake City for my niece's wedding, and at that time I saw the 30 or so medical pharmaceutical prescriptions that he had to take daily. The side effects of these drugs had just about feeblized the one big brother I had looked to for strength while growing up. Now he had to sleep about 20 hours a day, and his body was in constant pain. At that time he told me that he was about done with life. There were only 2 more projects he wanted to complete. At that point, I did not even know what to say, only "you are in my prayers."
His call was the best talk we have ever had. In our conversation I gave him my blessing that we were complete and as far as I am concerned, he was free to cross over. I told him at that time that he had a real opportunity before he crossed over, if he could forgive dad.
Back in present time, Monday I was informed that he was in the hospital with kidney failure. After digesting that concept, I had a chance to review my own journey in life. What gratitude I have for the fork in the road at age twenty-seven of finding sobriety and making different choices, and now reflecting on where I could have been-like Greg. At twenty-seven, I was in worse condition than he was at the same age.
From taking the steps to release my addictions, I have been able to rewrite my entire life and the possibilities that could be. I am a miracle; as a result of that in my moccasin walk gives me permission to tell each and every one of you that there is a miracle inside you too. I am also grateful for each and every one of you that participated with us all. This is one program where progress over perfection leads to healing. Good job all! Aho.
Blew Thunder
At first my mind panicked, of what could be wrong, for Greg has moved back home to assist my mom so she does not have to leave her home. His call was to tell me that he was proud of me, and that he knows that I walked a very challenging path, and he expressed his sadness about being unable to provide the protection that he thought he was responsible for. I felt throughout the conversation that this was his completion call.
Back last June, Kachina and I went to Salt Lake City for my niece's wedding, and at that time I saw the 30 or so medical pharmaceutical prescriptions that he had to take daily. The side effects of these drugs had just about feeblized the one big brother I had looked to for strength while growing up. Now he had to sleep about 20 hours a day, and his body was in constant pain. At that time he told me that he was about done with life. There were only 2 more projects he wanted to complete. At that point, I did not even know what to say, only "you are in my prayers."
His call was the best talk we have ever had. In our conversation I gave him my blessing that we were complete and as far as I am concerned, he was free to cross over. I told him at that time that he had a real opportunity before he crossed over, if he could forgive dad.
Back in present time, Monday I was informed that he was in the hospital with kidney failure. After digesting that concept, I had a chance to review my own journey in life. What gratitude I have for the fork in the road at age twenty-seven of finding sobriety and making different choices, and now reflecting on where I could have been-like Greg. At twenty-seven, I was in worse condition than he was at the same age.
From taking the steps to release my addictions, I have been able to rewrite my entire life and the possibilities that could be. I am a miracle; as a result of that in my moccasin walk gives me permission to tell each and every one of you that there is a miracle inside you too. I am also grateful for each and every one of you that participated with us all. This is one program where progress over perfection leads to healing. Good job all! Aho.
Blew Thunder
New Life Unfolding
I am sitting here in the shade, the hot sun is beating down, and a little breeze is keeping it so comfortable. I am surrounded by wildly singing birds! The variety of songbird life has been steadily increasing, and we have around us a blue bunting, nesting kingbirds, canary like fellows, tanagers, a meadowlark on the hill, and various wrens and sparrows. There is also a new dove that has arrived in White Sage, I have heard of it from other people but have not yet met this European dove for myself.
I am being allowed to witness the full force of nature's ability to recover, regenerate, and openly express the new blueprint-even here in the desert. Voluptuous greens (romaine, red oak leaf, spinach, arugula, parsley, and cilantro) have come up and are thriving, all from last year's seed-for I did not plant any at all this spring. Hen and chicks, delphinium, flax, tarragon, sweetgrass, and several others made it through the long cold winter and are now thriving, blooming, and expanding! For the first time since we arrived, there is a green carpet over much of the land, and bare soil is beginning to disappear.
My gratitude for this amazing journey is complete! And it feels so appropriate for the summer weather to arrive on the very last day of the 90 day journey. As Blew Thunder and I are already creating new ideas for next year's journey, and tomorrow will be our final ceremony with the group, I must admit that this is the FIRST TIME I have felt complete in the 90 day process exactly as it was completing! I am on my 4th time around this particular wheel, and this is the only time I felt that all parts of my being were in sync with the whole process. It is truly a different experience.
For those who have not felt complete, following the previous example of Earth Song, who is just now beginning the west, and will be referring back to the blog over the next two directions is a very powerful choice. There is a lot of potential for shift when we allow our process to unfold in its own time and space.
Others can have success by acknowledging completion to the level that it was for this time around. In a year or two, when they are ready to go deeper, they can choose to do it again and experience a whole different level of synchronicity. I have done it four times now, and each time it continues to bring a fresh, new perspective and new experience to my life.
I thank you all once again, for you are the healers. You who are willing to turn a different direction and descend into the dark, gunky depths of uncertainty to uncover more of who you are... and then create your life from this truth, you are giving a gift to yourselves that benefits our world. Gratitude to each of you. May all your dreams find fulfillment.
With Love,
Kachina
I am being allowed to witness the full force of nature's ability to recover, regenerate, and openly express the new blueprint-even here in the desert. Voluptuous greens (romaine, red oak leaf, spinach, arugula, parsley, and cilantro) have come up and are thriving, all from last year's seed-for I did not plant any at all this spring. Hen and chicks, delphinium, flax, tarragon, sweetgrass, and several others made it through the long cold winter and are now thriving, blooming, and expanding! For the first time since we arrived, there is a green carpet over much of the land, and bare soil is beginning to disappear.
My gratitude for this amazing journey is complete! And it feels so appropriate for the summer weather to arrive on the very last day of the 90 day journey. As Blew Thunder and I are already creating new ideas for next year's journey, and tomorrow will be our final ceremony with the group, I must admit that this is the FIRST TIME I have felt complete in the 90 day process exactly as it was completing! I am on my 4th time around this particular wheel, and this is the only time I felt that all parts of my being were in sync with the whole process. It is truly a different experience.
For those who have not felt complete, following the previous example of Earth Song, who is just now beginning the west, and will be referring back to the blog over the next two directions is a very powerful choice. There is a lot of potential for shift when we allow our process to unfold in its own time and space.
Others can have success by acknowledging completion to the level that it was for this time around. In a year or two, when they are ready to go deeper, they can choose to do it again and experience a whole different level of synchronicity. I have done it four times now, and each time it continues to bring a fresh, new perspective and new experience to my life.
I thank you all once again, for you are the healers. You who are willing to turn a different direction and descend into the dark, gunky depths of uncertainty to uncover more of who you are... and then create your life from this truth, you are giving a gift to yourselves that benefits our world. Gratitude to each of you. May all your dreams find fulfillment.
With Love,
Kachina
Saturday, May 15
Hello everyone,
The last time I viewed this blog was March 15th, the last day of my animal communication class. Since then, parts of my 90 day journey came to a halt. I continued to keep up with my oils/gemstones/essences and affirmations, but my life became intensely busy and overwhelming for me for about 2 months. I was unable to keep my commitment to myself with my journal and the blog, and have been disappointed in myself for "quitting." However, life has finally calmed down, and it has become clear to me to pick back up right where I left off. Dowsing has indicated that I am now in the West, which is extremely fitting for my current circumstances. I love the West, and am so happy to be back on track! So, while most of you are having your closing ceremony, I feel like my journey has begun all over again. I will "begin" my journal in the West, and will be reading all of your past entries on the blog each day. I'm sorry I missed you all, and yet it makes sense for me - this seems to be my year of solitude. Blessings to you all on your paths, and though I was mostly absent, it has been an honor to share such a special experience with you. -EarthSong
The last time I viewed this blog was March 15th, the last day of my animal communication class. Since then, parts of my 90 day journey came to a halt. I continued to keep up with my oils/gemstones/essences and affirmations, but my life became intensely busy and overwhelming for me for about 2 months. I was unable to keep my commitment to myself with my journal and the blog, and have been disappointed in myself for "quitting." However, life has finally calmed down, and it has become clear to me to pick back up right where I left off. Dowsing has indicated that I am now in the West, which is extremely fitting for my current circumstances. I love the West, and am so happy to be back on track! So, while most of you are having your closing ceremony, I feel like my journey has begun all over again. I will "begin" my journal in the West, and will be reading all of your past entries on the blog each day. I'm sorry I missed you all, and yet it makes sense for me - this seems to be my year of solitude. Blessings to you all on your paths, and though I was mostly absent, it has been an honor to share such a special experience with you. -EarthSong
Pulling Weeds
It is interesting to me how symbolic everything is. I have been spending my days in my sisters garden pulling weeds. Lots and lots of weeds that have accumulated over the last 2 years. We pick and pick, diligently turning the soil and excavating all the plant material that no longer serves to be there.
It is time, they all must go. I repeat a mantra in my head as I work,
"thank you for holding space, gratitude for all you've done, it is time to let go now"
The plants do not resist as we have an agreement together and they know the time has come, a job well done, they simply let go and allow me to pull them from the earth.
Later this week we will be bringing in the new flowers to fill the spaces we have cleared. We will fill all these open areas with life, bold colors and new energies.
I look around at the work I am doing an smile because it is all too clear now. All the doors that have slammed shut in my face over the last week, the jobs that I applied for and was denied, the relationships that are currently in transition, the cleansing and emotional surges running out of my body are all the weeds that I am pulling from my being, making space, lots and lots of space because what is coming is so great and grand that there needs to be plenty of room.
I am at a pivotal place in my relationship with myself. I believe all that I have done over the last 4 years has been to prepare me for this moment. It's different now but I can't explain how.
I am so grateful for this blog and this outlet of expression. I am so grateful for this 90 day workshop and all the changes I have undergone. It has been a remarkable ride yet again!
I am so grateful to all of you who have contributed and participated in this journey with me, even in silence your energy has been here and felt.
I don't feel afraid anymore. It has all become so clear. I am alive and awake in full remembrance. I build my foundation upon uncertainty and with a deep deep knowing that only that which is to be will be, so I no longer need to attempt to control or manipulate the outcome, it was never up to me to begin with. There is a Divine plan in place here and everywhere. I choose to follow and do my work with heart and soul.
There is nothing here but beauty and peace. It is so beautiful, even in the darkness, especially the darkness because that is where the creation is, that is where we are gifted the opportunity to manifest our hearts wildest desires. With nothing to see and compare or program it is up to us to create what we envision, for ourselves and for the whole.
My vision is clear and I understand now how something a simple seeming as pulling weeds is an act of complete full purpose. This symbolic act tells the story, communicates the truth and allows me to see what sort of contribution I am making for the whole. With that knowledge I am able to adjust my intention. So tomorrow as we finish the last bed in the south and pull the remaining weeds I will connect in to the leaders of the oil industry, the leaders of all the countries around the world, and all those on the forefront of shaping this world into something different. My mantra will be, "Gratitude for the space you have held, I release this old blueprint of life that no longer serves" then I will pull the weeds in a physical gesture to create space for a new way to come in, to live in balance and co-creation with all life everywhere. And it is done.
Love, light and blessings to you all on your beautiful journeys....
Aho.
It is time, they all must go. I repeat a mantra in my head as I work,
"thank you for holding space, gratitude for all you've done, it is time to let go now"
The plants do not resist as we have an agreement together and they know the time has come, a job well done, they simply let go and allow me to pull them from the earth.
Later this week we will be bringing in the new flowers to fill the spaces we have cleared. We will fill all these open areas with life, bold colors and new energies.
I look around at the work I am doing an smile because it is all too clear now. All the doors that have slammed shut in my face over the last week, the jobs that I applied for and was denied, the relationships that are currently in transition, the cleansing and emotional surges running out of my body are all the weeds that I am pulling from my being, making space, lots and lots of space because what is coming is so great and grand that there needs to be plenty of room.
I am at a pivotal place in my relationship with myself. I believe all that I have done over the last 4 years has been to prepare me for this moment. It's different now but I can't explain how.
I am so grateful for this blog and this outlet of expression. I am so grateful for this 90 day workshop and all the changes I have undergone. It has been a remarkable ride yet again!
I am so grateful to all of you who have contributed and participated in this journey with me, even in silence your energy has been here and felt.
I don't feel afraid anymore. It has all become so clear. I am alive and awake in full remembrance. I build my foundation upon uncertainty and with a deep deep knowing that only that which is to be will be, so I no longer need to attempt to control or manipulate the outcome, it was never up to me to begin with. There is a Divine plan in place here and everywhere. I choose to follow and do my work with heart and soul.
There is nothing here but beauty and peace. It is so beautiful, even in the darkness, especially the darkness because that is where the creation is, that is where we are gifted the opportunity to manifest our hearts wildest desires. With nothing to see and compare or program it is up to us to create what we envision, for ourselves and for the whole.
My vision is clear and I understand now how something a simple seeming as pulling weeds is an act of complete full purpose. This symbolic act tells the story, communicates the truth and allows me to see what sort of contribution I am making for the whole. With that knowledge I am able to adjust my intention. So tomorrow as we finish the last bed in the south and pull the remaining weeds I will connect in to the leaders of the oil industry, the leaders of all the countries around the world, and all those on the forefront of shaping this world into something different. My mantra will be, "Gratitude for the space you have held, I release this old blueprint of life that no longer serves" then I will pull the weeds in a physical gesture to create space for a new way to come in, to live in balance and co-creation with all life everywhere. And it is done.
Love, light and blessings to you all on your beautiful journeys....
Aho.
Friday, May 14
The Path of Descention
Spirit & Soul. The first an ascent to union, our inevitable connection to all that is, was and ever will be. The next, a descent to unique, our individual expression of the universal Wow. Falling deep into the underworld sink of the soul, we’re forced to drop all pretensions & discover the gifts we’re meant to bring into our world. Flying high into the wilds of spirit, we realize that we all are one. Spirit animates the seed toward growth. Soul shines the flower, singular among the fields. Opposite but not opposed, together this polarity is a necessity that guides my days. And my nights. I am a burning comet of love heading straight toward Planet Me. Upon impact, may the whole feel deeply my part.
Rise up rooted! Root down ascendant!
I love you all - because we are one and because we are not.
I haven’t always been in the light, but I’ve always been in the field. I pray this 90 days has been as transformational and affirming for all of you as it was for me. Even if, here at the end, I still have a few pages left in my journal to complete.
Aho. Ma ta kwi asen.
Clarity in Heartbreak
Over the last week I have been in the middle of a hurricane of loss. One of heartbreak and rejection, a death process so great that it had quite literally brought me to my knees, on more then one occasion. Once again I have been called to walk the path of trust, during this process, by listening to this patient humble wise inner voice that will only speak to me once I've done the "ego dance" and then asked my mind to be quite so I may know the real truth of the situation and not the illutionary perception of my ego.
There are words flying at me from all directions, some at the speed of light, some that carry so much anguish in their delivery that my heart yurns, some disguised as cold and indifferent to show strength and protection. No matter where I look I am surrounded by pain, I am the cause of someone elses hurt and despair, I am the cause of my own unstoppable tears and I am the one apparently with the power to put to end, if you will, to this heightened, acutely painful experience of heartbreak.
All I see is the illusion, it shimmers in front of me and all around me. I stand in front of these people whom I have loved so dearly and who I continue to love, who are asking me to put an end to their pain by choosing to stand beside them.
My heart shows me a different picture. We are standing there together souls connected and whole. No pain, no suffering. This identification of who we are, the "I", the personality we have attached and identified with swirling about outside of our true souls. Engaging in this experience of pain, feeding on it and believing that it is the truth.
Perhaps there is more here then what meets the eye? Perhaps this isn't about how to stop the pain, maybe it's a beginning upon the path of feeling. A crack in a surface that has been bound so tight that without shattering first, nothing not even a true love, could penetrate that shield of protection. Perhaps this is an opportunity for growth and self discovery? An opportunity for re-birth and new beginnings.
If we could stop just long enough and sit quietly we might get a glimpse of the incredible gift that is being offered here but instead we attach and engage in the potentially toxic dance with pain and words. The cost, silencing that sweet guidance within, that will show you if you would only allow it too, that safe place where you can lay down and rest and glean a better understanding.
I am not the cause and I am not the solution. To fulfill the requests that have been laid upon my feet would be to choose a path of death for my own soul and would greatly limit and slow the growth of those who are seemingly effected by my actions and resistance to give in.
I love you and I see you whole. I refuse to take that from you by given you what it is that you think you want and need. It is simply and illusion. I cannot fulfill your heart, only you have the power to do so.
My prayer for you is this, sit quietly and breathe. Allow yourself to pull back all that you have put out there. The love you want to give to me, the happiness you want to create for me, turn it around and give it to yourself, first!
There is the lesson, there is the challenge.
Life is a beautiful intricately woven dance between pleasure and pain and if we let go of the attachment we can then experience how amazing and incredible both of these experiences are.
Aho
There are words flying at me from all directions, some at the speed of light, some that carry so much anguish in their delivery that my heart yurns, some disguised as cold and indifferent to show strength and protection. No matter where I look I am surrounded by pain, I am the cause of someone elses hurt and despair, I am the cause of my own unstoppable tears and I am the one apparently with the power to put to end, if you will, to this heightened, acutely painful experience of heartbreak.
All I see is the illusion, it shimmers in front of me and all around me. I stand in front of these people whom I have loved so dearly and who I continue to love, who are asking me to put an end to their pain by choosing to stand beside them.
My heart shows me a different picture. We are standing there together souls connected and whole. No pain, no suffering. This identification of who we are, the "I", the personality we have attached and identified with swirling about outside of our true souls. Engaging in this experience of pain, feeding on it and believing that it is the truth.
Perhaps there is more here then what meets the eye? Perhaps this isn't about how to stop the pain, maybe it's a beginning upon the path of feeling. A crack in a surface that has been bound so tight that without shattering first, nothing not even a true love, could penetrate that shield of protection. Perhaps this is an opportunity for growth and self discovery? An opportunity for re-birth and new beginnings.
If we could stop just long enough and sit quietly we might get a glimpse of the incredible gift that is being offered here but instead we attach and engage in the potentially toxic dance with pain and words. The cost, silencing that sweet guidance within, that will show you if you would only allow it too, that safe place where you can lay down and rest and glean a better understanding.
I am not the cause and I am not the solution. To fulfill the requests that have been laid upon my feet would be to choose a path of death for my own soul and would greatly limit and slow the growth of those who are seemingly effected by my actions and resistance to give in.
I love you and I see you whole. I refuse to take that from you by given you what it is that you think you want and need. It is simply and illusion. I cannot fulfill your heart, only you have the power to do so.
My prayer for you is this, sit quietly and breathe. Allow yourself to pull back all that you have put out there. The love you want to give to me, the happiness you want to create for me, turn it around and give it to yourself, first!
There is the lesson, there is the challenge.
Life is a beautiful intricately woven dance between pleasure and pain and if we let go of the attachment we can then experience how amazing and incredible both of these experiences are.
Aho
Healing for the Gulf Coast
Hello, I am making a new attempt to write to this blog. Yesterday I was unable to get it to work! Perhaps it is because I have so much more to say today than I did yesterday.
Much of my own focus has been on the healing process in the Gulf Coast at this time. The amethyst earth keeper crystal asked to be placed in direct alignment with the oil spill location in our medicine wheel.
Then the pinon trees that are currently very stressed as they are bearing the burden of release for human sadness, connected to Afghanistan,(another area connected with the oil industry that is out of balance!) had asked to have a special flower essence made which I was to place under 7 trees, which I did last week. Today I will walk the land and gift the essence to 21 more trees.
I was not making any connection between all of this. Then yesterday I had a physical experience that, along with Blew Thunder's insight, gave me a new perspective. My heart had begun to flutter and spasm, with very irregular heartbeats. This started a few days ago. I had done a blue road healing or two, but it had not completely gone away. A little cough had come in as well, which only happened when I tried to take a deep breath.
I asked Blew Thunder to help me move this energy, and he assisted by pressing on a rib that was sticking up in my chest on the left side. The rib went back into place with a snap. This was several days ago. At first it felt better and I thought that was the end of it.
Then it began to stick up again. the feeling in my heart came back, and another painful spot emerged on my back. It was as if I could feel a string of energy connecting the back to the front rib, going right through my heart, just like the ley line that connects White Sage medicine wheel with a mountaintop outside of Kabul. It even had a bluish color. Suddenly I began to bleed (sorry if this TMI for you guys!) and I knew my body was trying to physically clear something that was not really physical.
Then yesterday, it all came to a head. The pain increased to the point of not being able to lift my left arm. Once again, Blew Thunder offered help to move this energy. The rib was so tender that I wanted to shy away from receiving help, so I knew it must be exactly what I needed. Once on the massage table, we succeeded in opening the flow between these two areas, opening the connection into my core, and moving the whole pattern out.
I coughed and coughed as Blew Thunder opened my diaphragm. When we were finished, the rib was back in place, my heart spasm was gone, I once again had space in my whole body to breathe deeply, and every bit of the pain was gone. Today I am awakening to life in a whole new body. Such a miracle!
It was a perfect illustration for me to gain understanding of what has been activated between the White Sage Medicine wheel and Afghanistan, and how it is connected to the oil spill happening in the Gulf Coast. Blew Thunder awakened with the insight that the people who are really getting this lesson are the leaders of the oil industry. They are having another opportunity to walk through this experience and learn it so it does not need to be repeated.
Last time a spill of this magnitude happened (in Valdez, Alaska) there was an unfulfilled opportunity. The oil industry did not take responsibility, and greed got in the way of resolution. Most of the spill was not even cleaned up, and the penalties that were awarded to the local fisheries and people for their roles in clean up and as restitution, went unpaid for so long that many of them died before receiving anything. The oil industry leaders knew how to keep it all tied up in court long enough to let people forget.
So today, I went back into the medicine wheel and made new prayers for the leaders of the oil companies. I sent out the intention that their hearts would be activated, that they would begin to make the connection to their actions and the health of Mother
Earth. I intended that the oil bleeding would stop; that all the nature spirits and weather beings would help the clean-up effort, and that protection and healing would be provided for the birds, fishes, and wildlife in the area.
And I offered to do whatever else Mother Earth would ask me to do to support and assist this healing process. Then I opened Arvol Looking Horse's e-mail message, which I am sending out today. Arvol is the spiritual head of the Lakota people, keeper of the original pipe given to the Lakota by White Buffalo Calf Woman. He has traveled around the world doing ceremony and laying a foundation for world peace.
One more thing-I had errored in my typing-I represented the final ceremony day for the 90 Day Journey to be the 16th, I really meant the 17th, as you can see if you check out the Dreamspell calendar.
I will send it out via e-mail too.
Many blessings to all! Kachina
Much of my own focus has been on the healing process in the Gulf Coast at this time. The amethyst earth keeper crystal asked to be placed in direct alignment with the oil spill location in our medicine wheel.
Then the pinon trees that are currently very stressed as they are bearing the burden of release for human sadness, connected to Afghanistan,(another area connected with the oil industry that is out of balance!) had asked to have a special flower essence made which I was to place under 7 trees, which I did last week. Today I will walk the land and gift the essence to 21 more trees.
I was not making any connection between all of this. Then yesterday I had a physical experience that, along with Blew Thunder's insight, gave me a new perspective. My heart had begun to flutter and spasm, with very irregular heartbeats. This started a few days ago. I had done a blue road healing or two, but it had not completely gone away. A little cough had come in as well, which only happened when I tried to take a deep breath.
I asked Blew Thunder to help me move this energy, and he assisted by pressing on a rib that was sticking up in my chest on the left side. The rib went back into place with a snap. This was several days ago. At first it felt better and I thought that was the end of it.
Then it began to stick up again. the feeling in my heart came back, and another painful spot emerged on my back. It was as if I could feel a string of energy connecting the back to the front rib, going right through my heart, just like the ley line that connects White Sage medicine wheel with a mountaintop outside of Kabul. It even had a bluish color. Suddenly I began to bleed (sorry if this TMI for you guys!) and I knew my body was trying to physically clear something that was not really physical.
Then yesterday, it all came to a head. The pain increased to the point of not being able to lift my left arm. Once again, Blew Thunder offered help to move this energy. The rib was so tender that I wanted to shy away from receiving help, so I knew it must be exactly what I needed. Once on the massage table, we succeeded in opening the flow between these two areas, opening the connection into my core, and moving the whole pattern out.
I coughed and coughed as Blew Thunder opened my diaphragm. When we were finished, the rib was back in place, my heart spasm was gone, I once again had space in my whole body to breathe deeply, and every bit of the pain was gone. Today I am awakening to life in a whole new body. Such a miracle!
It was a perfect illustration for me to gain understanding of what has been activated between the White Sage Medicine wheel and Afghanistan, and how it is connected to the oil spill happening in the Gulf Coast. Blew Thunder awakened with the insight that the people who are really getting this lesson are the leaders of the oil industry. They are having another opportunity to walk through this experience and learn it so it does not need to be repeated.
Last time a spill of this magnitude happened (in Valdez, Alaska) there was an unfulfilled opportunity. The oil industry did not take responsibility, and greed got in the way of resolution. Most of the spill was not even cleaned up, and the penalties that were awarded to the local fisheries and people for their roles in clean up and as restitution, went unpaid for so long that many of them died before receiving anything. The oil industry leaders knew how to keep it all tied up in court long enough to let people forget.
So today, I went back into the medicine wheel and made new prayers for the leaders of the oil companies. I sent out the intention that their hearts would be activated, that they would begin to make the connection to their actions and the health of Mother
Earth. I intended that the oil bleeding would stop; that all the nature spirits and weather beings would help the clean-up effort, and that protection and healing would be provided for the birds, fishes, and wildlife in the area.
And I offered to do whatever else Mother Earth would ask me to do to support and assist this healing process. Then I opened Arvol Looking Horse's e-mail message, which I am sending out today. Arvol is the spiritual head of the Lakota people, keeper of the original pipe given to the Lakota by White Buffalo Calf Woman. He has traveled around the world doing ceremony and laying a foundation for world peace.
One more thing-I had errored in my typing-I represented the final ceremony day for the 90 Day Journey to be the 16th, I really meant the 17th, as you can see if you check out the Dreamspell calendar.
I will send it out via e-mail too.
Many blessings to all! Kachina
Tuesday, May 11
Picking Up Trash
Last weekend Blew Thunder and I had an opportunity. Along with another resident of White Sage, we went to the Forrest Service and got a permit to do a volunteer clean up of trash along Forest Road 22. We arranged to do this on Friday and Saturday, putting out a flyer to invite any and all people who use the road to come and help clean it up.
We spent two days walking along the road, picking up bottles, cans, old tires, scrap metal, barb wire, and any form of trash you could think of. In two days our little team of volunteers cleaned only 5 miles of roadway, and took a 22 foot trailer filled with junk and garbage bags to the dump. We had beautiful weather, saw horned toads, snakes, rabbits, and birds, and shared an inter-tribal song with the other volunteers.
By the end of the day on Saturday, we both knew we needed to do the second blue road healing, then we just fell asleep. It felt just like it did years ago when we had helped people with remodeling their bathrooms. After removing the wallboard or flooring that was to be replaced, there was an energetic outpouring of "gunk" that needed time to clear out before we could go back in and put the new surfaces on.
This felt like an outpouring of stagnant energy (especially human dis-respect) from the Earth herself. Our walking for mile after mile and picking up everything that had been discarded unconsciously had an amazing effect of release for the land. Then on Sunday, I was quickly urged to place the next set of 7 spokes in the medicine wheel, the spirits said "do it quickly before it rains!" It was hot and dusty, and a bit windy, but I followed their instructions.
By that night, it was raining. Now today, it has turned into snow (!!!) and we have once again filled all of our buckets. We are seeing such an incredible depth of regeneration now, beginning our third year in the area in June. New plants are appearing that were not here when we came here. Beautiful new and different leaves are appearing on the sage brush, and the Indian tea is making a kind of flower that I have not seen before. The bee balm, an ancient Anasazi plant that was cultivated in their gardens, has sprouted up all around us. It is amazing to watch this regeneration process take place!
The two of us were reminded again that even the simple act of picking up trash is not always as it appears! The residents of White Sage have not done any kind of community project for as long as they have lived here. It has always been "every man for himself" and a Hatfield vs. McCoy kind of attitude that has prevailed. We acknowledged that the human consciousness is shifting even as the weather patterns are shifting... Prosperity is truly connected to human consciousness, just as the weather patterns are. Everything is one in all of life...if we can remember to see past the separation.
Many Blessings,
Kachina
We spent two days walking along the road, picking up bottles, cans, old tires, scrap metal, barb wire, and any form of trash you could think of. In two days our little team of volunteers cleaned only 5 miles of roadway, and took a 22 foot trailer filled with junk and garbage bags to the dump. We had beautiful weather, saw horned toads, snakes, rabbits, and birds, and shared an inter-tribal song with the other volunteers.
By the end of the day on Saturday, we both knew we needed to do the second blue road healing, then we just fell asleep. It felt just like it did years ago when we had helped people with remodeling their bathrooms. After removing the wallboard or flooring that was to be replaced, there was an energetic outpouring of "gunk" that needed time to clear out before we could go back in and put the new surfaces on.
This felt like an outpouring of stagnant energy (especially human dis-respect) from the Earth herself. Our walking for mile after mile and picking up everything that had been discarded unconsciously had an amazing effect of release for the land. Then on Sunday, I was quickly urged to place the next set of 7 spokes in the medicine wheel, the spirits said "do it quickly before it rains!" It was hot and dusty, and a bit windy, but I followed their instructions.
By that night, it was raining. Now today, it has turned into snow (!!!) and we have once again filled all of our buckets. We are seeing such an incredible depth of regeneration now, beginning our third year in the area in June. New plants are appearing that were not here when we came here. Beautiful new and different leaves are appearing on the sage brush, and the Indian tea is making a kind of flower that I have not seen before. The bee balm, an ancient Anasazi plant that was cultivated in their gardens, has sprouted up all around us. It is amazing to watch this regeneration process take place!
The two of us were reminded again that even the simple act of picking up trash is not always as it appears! The residents of White Sage have not done any kind of community project for as long as they have lived here. It has always been "every man for himself" and a Hatfield vs. McCoy kind of attitude that has prevailed. We acknowledged that the human consciousness is shifting even as the weather patterns are shifting... Prosperity is truly connected to human consciousness, just as the weather patterns are. Everything is one in all of life...if we can remember to see past the separation.
Many Blessings,
Kachina
Sunday, May 9
Resolve and Release!
Wow, am I making a flip! My nieces finally made an acceptable full-price offer for the beach house just after I received guidance from their crossed-over father Bennett not to sell the house to them or anyone this year but to wait a year to allow the girls to stay in the house, to pay the expences and to receive an epiphany through their parents working through the Medicine Wheel there. The epiphany is that they are still connected to their parents after death. Wow, now I wrote a letter to the attorneys proposing this; they and all my older incarned relatives will probably go into shock after months of negotiations finally resolved with an agreeable offer from my nieces. My crossed-over relatives, Mom, Ben and Barb, assure me that in waiting a year all will work out for the best for all. Wow, this is asking me for some radical trust in my guidance; this choice does not affect just me but all beneficiaries.
In my last conversation with Kathryn, I asked why do I have all this estate and family load, this hugely timeand energy-consuming project? She told me I was cleaning up loose ends for family and previous generations. She suggested I lighten my load by asking for assistance from those crossed-over family members that need completion through this project. This honors them. It gives them an opportunity to participate and have completion where they did not previously have the tools. They help me move blocks and I help them move blocks. Yea, help is on the way!
The evening of this conversation I did a two-hour dowsing of about 40 contracts for about 8 family members (some crossed-over, some not including me) ready to complete. There were so many interrelated contracts and some totally unique ones. They all made so much sense. For instance, completely independantly I dowsed the contracts for my grandfather Charles Murphy Senior and my brother Francisco, the walk-in who is the reincarnation of this grandfather. Both had the same old contract/belief that they could not live their dream in life and needed the new contract "I am living my dream"! The following day I had such a happy ceremony burning old (very 12/60! ) contracts and reading and affirming new (very 13/260!) ones. I finally got guidance to burn the sacred cedar wood K & M sent as if it had been waiting all along to serve for burning the contracts in this ceremony! I felt so much energy resolve and release. Thank you Kathryn for the sharing of information that opened this opportunity!
This timing is perfect as last week three 90-dayers called me and asked me to teach a class this week on the family healing I have been doing. I was honored. I titled the class "Radial Time Family Healing".
I had an extended 90-days because I was guided to start on my own on January 7, 2010. I feel I have covered a lot of ground and have also lost track of time. I think I have gone through 3 or 4 sets of affirmations in my Health, Wealth and Prosperity palace. The first were about prosperity, the next about health ( as I had a great opportunity to transmute through a severely broken wrist injury) and now about creating the work I love. I have integrated and moved a lot. I truly felt this in the ceremony mentioned above when I was able to affirm new contracts for myself and others. Many of my new contracts were statements I have used for affirmations in the past. But this time they felt very different. With the synchronistic readiness of the release of the old contracts and the participation and resolution this offered for my family members, the new contracts were given life and I could feel them alive, breathing, expanding and singing! Days later, I still feel more energy, lightness and space inside me.
The completion ceremony date works for me.
I have learned much from the sharing of all and from this opportunity to share my experiences. Thank you!!!
Liz
In my last conversation with Kathryn, I asked why do I have all this estate and family load, this hugely timeand energy-consuming project? She told me I was cleaning up loose ends for family and previous generations. She suggested I lighten my load by asking for assistance from those crossed-over family members that need completion through this project. This honors them. It gives them an opportunity to participate and have completion where they did not previously have the tools. They help me move blocks and I help them move blocks. Yea, help is on the way!
The evening of this conversation I did a two-hour dowsing of about 40 contracts for about 8 family members (some crossed-over, some not including me) ready to complete. There were so many interrelated contracts and some totally unique ones. They all made so much sense. For instance, completely independantly I dowsed the contracts for my grandfather Charles Murphy Senior and my brother Francisco, the walk-in who is the reincarnation of this grandfather. Both had the same old contract/belief that they could not live their dream in life and needed the new contract "I am living my dream"! The following day I had such a happy ceremony burning old (very 12/60! ) contracts and reading and affirming new (very 13/260!) ones. I finally got guidance to burn the sacred cedar wood K & M sent as if it had been waiting all along to serve for burning the contracts in this ceremony! I felt so much energy resolve and release. Thank you Kathryn for the sharing of information that opened this opportunity!
This timing is perfect as last week three 90-dayers called me and asked me to teach a class this week on the family healing I have been doing. I was honored. I titled the class "Radial Time Family Healing".
I had an extended 90-days because I was guided to start on my own on January 7, 2010. I feel I have covered a lot of ground and have also lost track of time. I think I have gone through 3 or 4 sets of affirmations in my Health, Wealth and Prosperity palace. The first were about prosperity, the next about health ( as I had a great opportunity to transmute through a severely broken wrist injury) and now about creating the work I love. I have integrated and moved a lot. I truly felt this in the ceremony mentioned above when I was able to affirm new contracts for myself and others. Many of my new contracts were statements I have used for affirmations in the past. But this time they felt very different. With the synchronistic readiness of the release of the old contracts and the participation and resolution this offered for my family members, the new contracts were given life and I could feel them alive, breathing, expanding and singing! Days later, I still feel more energy, lightness and space inside me.
The completion ceremony date works for me.
I have learned much from the sharing of all and from this opportunity to share my experiences. Thank you!!!
Liz
Saturday, May 8
the object stares back
I have been wanting to blog more but will make this a priority to blog now as this blog has been so helpful and has been my soul nourishment for giving myself the time to find out how intensive it is in breaking old contracts that are no longer my choice and effortless as well when considering all the the intensive energy needed for my body to hold them and the time consuming process to finally get into a rhythm so I no longer even have to think about it.
So appreciate the blogs re: relationship with meat as a recent transplant to a subsistence place of work, play and living more in a community life has also changed my relationship with meat and I am not sure if I have changed, the meat has changed or after reading today’s blog possibly the whole process has changed. I am the only non-hunter in the household but have observed how the animals would find themselves to the hunter in order to get to the person who needed it-this happening over and over again. So was somehow disturbed when observing the hunter planning to actively hunt for the animal(and even learning the whole process required to legally to this), but even this surprised me when at the place where this hunt was to take place there was an unexpected death in that community and so the hunter of this animal shared half of this animal with the grieving family. The deceased hunter of this grieving family was able to continue to provide for his family through the winter through this animal. The remaining meat that stared at me from the kitchen table and observing the time consuming process of meat being separated from bone and ligament and how each and every part was used for warmth and nourishment and this remaining half was also shared with others who needed it, can only be described as a labor of love. This is so respectfully honored in song, dance and story culturally as well.
I appreciated Kathryn’s blog about re-experiencing our acute symptoms of the disease as we are going through our cleansing in order to get to a higher frequency. In the form of a painful tooth infection whose same story had previously ended in surgery -and again I was being advised to seek medical attention and found myself looking at some very strong antibiotics I have been keeping on hand (so no I had not yet completely closed that door) and beginning to plan to fly into the larger city for help. I made a conscious decision not based on fear and instead to go into the pain and use the tools I have learned on this path- cranial sacral for release, the nurturing oils including german cammomile, juicing, garlic and ginger (which is so delicious when sick as my body was saying thankyou as it was getting just what it needed), and stayed in svavasana during a yoga class just to be in the peaceful energy of a yoga class and more cranial sacral releasing, etc. Was so amazed that the pain left as fast as it came and felt stronger in my affirmations that knowing and the medicine inside myself can heal my body.
Have been reading Thomas Elkins “The Object Stares Back: On the Nature of Seeing.” He describes how we know ourselves and the world through the things we see and the things we see are looking back-when we see something it also sees us. It is difficult to see some things –the sun, death, etc. He talks about mind blindness or closing off –the invisible new world-or even when my words stare back at me like a glass eye. An artists’ reference is visual-we think we see it but we don’t or can’t see it. He recounts the disturbing 19th century pursuit of women committing adultery who were put to death and how we perceive that –how we perceive stories through a physical reacting to a visual image-going thru everyday life and how this impacts us –when the senses are accessable and how we get thru certain situations. This seems to parallel the oil spill as the conscious/unconscious death of the mother earth treated as an object. Observing my subconscious reactions I am having toward what I am viewing-changing that perception –seeing mother earth as conscious and asking what does she want? What are my desires from mother earth? And even the seemingly incompatible-what are the oil companies desires -my socially conditioned response of built up unrealistic goals which cannot be filled by the products and services advertised by the oil company that lesson our quality of life. I am trying to look to a more positive –what is the higher good for all that might come from this invisible new world? Instead of just perceiving the bleakness of my concerns to look to the process that might change us all to some higher good? Visually creating things to close the gap-I so appreciate the assistance in opening up to my deficiencies in order to have the equipment or tools to perceive.
On a lighter note so exciting with a new baby in the family it is so beautiful to watch how a baby sees things, how he knows and understands the world by taste-without fear-not afraid to try or reach out and taste –open to explore. The babies language saying I want something and my attempts to close the gap of- I don’t speak your language –what do you want? For my family I will continue to detach with love and without expectations and hold the space that sees them healed and try not to be attached to their choices.
I am so appreciative for the upcoming ceremony may 16 final day of the blue wavespell and of the recent ceremony and the reminder that I have in my toolbox the blue road healing in which I burnt my cedar sticks for the completion and release of the old contracts and 12/60 ways, so thankful for the participation of the ancestors, and especially of the sharings of everyone in this blog that have somehow synchronistically assisted and guided with many of the changes happening in my life and will continue to assist with the many transformations to come, bringing past present and future together. Love and Light to All
So appreciate the blogs re: relationship with meat as a recent transplant to a subsistence place of work, play and living more in a community life has also changed my relationship with meat and I am not sure if I have changed, the meat has changed or after reading today’s blog possibly the whole process has changed. I am the only non-hunter in the household but have observed how the animals would find themselves to the hunter in order to get to the person who needed it-this happening over and over again. So was somehow disturbed when observing the hunter planning to actively hunt for the animal(and even learning the whole process required to legally to this), but even this surprised me when at the place where this hunt was to take place there was an unexpected death in that community and so the hunter of this animal shared half of this animal with the grieving family. The deceased hunter of this grieving family was able to continue to provide for his family through the winter through this animal. The remaining meat that stared at me from the kitchen table and observing the time consuming process of meat being separated from bone and ligament and how each and every part was used for warmth and nourishment and this remaining half was also shared with others who needed it, can only be described as a labor of love. This is so respectfully honored in song, dance and story culturally as well.
I appreciated Kathryn’s blog about re-experiencing our acute symptoms of the disease as we are going through our cleansing in order to get to a higher frequency. In the form of a painful tooth infection whose same story had previously ended in surgery -and again I was being advised to seek medical attention and found myself looking at some very strong antibiotics I have been keeping on hand (so no I had not yet completely closed that door) and beginning to plan to fly into the larger city for help. I made a conscious decision not based on fear and instead to go into the pain and use the tools I have learned on this path- cranial sacral for release, the nurturing oils including german cammomile, juicing, garlic and ginger (which is so delicious when sick as my body was saying thankyou as it was getting just what it needed), and stayed in svavasana during a yoga class just to be in the peaceful energy of a yoga class and more cranial sacral releasing, etc. Was so amazed that the pain left as fast as it came and felt stronger in my affirmations that knowing and the medicine inside myself can heal my body.
Have been reading Thomas Elkins “The Object Stares Back: On the Nature of Seeing.” He describes how we know ourselves and the world through the things we see and the things we see are looking back-when we see something it also sees us. It is difficult to see some things –the sun, death, etc. He talks about mind blindness or closing off –the invisible new world-or even when my words stare back at me like a glass eye. An artists’ reference is visual-we think we see it but we don’t or can’t see it. He recounts the disturbing 19th century pursuit of women committing adultery who were put to death and how we perceive that –how we perceive stories through a physical reacting to a visual image-going thru everyday life and how this impacts us –when the senses are accessable and how we get thru certain situations. This seems to parallel the oil spill as the conscious/unconscious death of the mother earth treated as an object. Observing my subconscious reactions I am having toward what I am viewing-changing that perception –seeing mother earth as conscious and asking what does she want? What are my desires from mother earth? And even the seemingly incompatible-what are the oil companies desires -my socially conditioned response of built up unrealistic goals which cannot be filled by the products and services advertised by the oil company that lesson our quality of life. I am trying to look to a more positive –what is the higher good for all that might come from this invisible new world? Instead of just perceiving the bleakness of my concerns to look to the process that might change us all to some higher good? Visually creating things to close the gap-I so appreciate the assistance in opening up to my deficiencies in order to have the equipment or tools to perceive.
On a lighter note so exciting with a new baby in the family it is so beautiful to watch how a baby sees things, how he knows and understands the world by taste-without fear-not afraid to try or reach out and taste –open to explore. The babies language saying I want something and my attempts to close the gap of- I don’t speak your language –what do you want? For my family I will continue to detach with love and without expectations and hold the space that sees them healed and try not to be attached to their choices.
I am so appreciative for the upcoming ceremony may 16 final day of the blue wavespell and of the recent ceremony and the reminder that I have in my toolbox the blue road healing in which I burnt my cedar sticks for the completion and release of the old contracts and 12/60 ways, so thankful for the participation of the ancestors, and especially of the sharings of everyone in this blog that have somehow synchronistically assisted and guided with many of the changes happening in my life and will continue to assist with the many transformations to come, bringing past present and future together. Love and Light to All
A Proposal
The official final day of the 90 day journey is coming up around May 16, in case anyone else out there has lost their time line (I certainly have!). I would like to propose the final closing ceremony to be held on May 16 in the evening. It would be a 13 day, the final day of a blue wavespell, a storm day, and a portal-perfect day for ceremony.
If this feels appropriate, I will be doing ceremony for closure at that time.
Comments requested...
Kathryn
If this feels appropriate, I will be doing ceremony for closure at that time.
Comments requested...
Kathryn
Friday, May 7
The Path of Regeneration
After reading the last entry, I would like to share some thoughts on Mother Earth's journey into regeneration. One of the dearest mentors of my life was a Kahuna elder from Hawaii, named Rahshelle-lei. She did her best to help me to understand that guidance was not here to help us avoid the experiences that we are afraid of, or resistant toward. Instead, she assured me that guidance was designed to lead us squarely into those experiences, often through gradient.
She said that our hearts, the human navigation system, would always lead us back into a repetition of any unhealed or incomplete experience, creating an opportunity to relive that experience, and consciously choose differently to create a different result. Once we have lived through an old fear or traumatic experience, and come out with a different result, we are complete with that experience. And not until.
An example came for me much later in my life that finally brought consciousness into this understanding. My attention was focused for several weeks on oil drilling. I was unhappy at how the oil rigs looked like a mosquito, drilling into Mother Earth's skin and sucking out her blood. I was sad that the rigs were always put in with out consulting the spirits of the land, or even acknowledging them. When I heard of a new oil well going in somewhere up North, I was deeply saddened and felt that humanity was really stuck in a cycle of destructive unconsciousness.
I decided to go into the sweat lodge and take my sadness to the Grandmothers, and seek their wisdom. Together Blew Thunder and I went in, starting the ceremony with an honoring of the 4 directions and Mother Earth. We sang some songs and made prayers for other people who were seeking prayers.
Then the time came when Blew Thunder left, leaving me alone with the Grandmothers. I shared with them my concerns for the oil drilling, and the sadness that this human pattern seemed so entrenched. I asked them how I could help to heal this pattern, was there anything I could do? Long ago, I was reminded that I should not focus my energy, emotion, or intention on something unless I am willing to ACT on changing it. If I do not have the true passion and energy to place toward creating change for that situation, I must leave it for those who do, blessing the situation and imagining full healing for it.
Then the Grandmothers showed me a beautiful perspective. They said that they were happy that these new oil wells were being drilled. They said that we were closer to healing this pattern than I could possible imagine. They told me that even if all the oil drilling were to cease around the whole world, it would not bring healing to that issue. Instead, the cycle would eventually be repeated, the oil wells would be drilled again, and the same situation would return. It had to be so, for the only way it could be healed is if we drilled a co-creative oil well! They asked me to imagine a co-creative oil well.
At first I was confused, not understanding what they even meant by that. Then clarity began to come in, and for several weeks, every time I went into the lodge, I would imagine people smudging the land, drumming, and connecting with the nature spirits. then I would see them asking for permission and location, all the while part of me going,"ha ha, big oil companies will never do this!" I ignored it and envisioned anyway. I envisioned Mother Earth giving willingly to the human beings, and the humans honoring her, building in co-creation, and giving thanks for all the gifts they received through the oil well. I envisioned the animals and birds and flowers and trees, all thriving in the same location as the well. I envisioned special minerals being placed to neutralize any non-beneficial energies and to enhance the local area. It felt amazing to do this work-the weaving of the world.
It was about a year later when I heard about an oil well that had been drilled this way. The woman whose family owned the land that the well was drilled on, told how her relatives went out on the land and drummed with gratitude before the well was drilled! They also agreed to pump the well only as long as Mother Earth agreed to allow its use. I was so astounded! This blueprint is now set in the grid and others will follow. My work on this issue was now complete.
In looking at the recent Earth changes, earthquakes, oil spills, and other catastrophic events taking place on Mother Earth, I must carry forth the same perspective. These events will likely increase and look very bleak on the surface. But we must all refer to our own bodies-our connection to Mother Earth, and remember the path of regeneration. How many times did we go through a cleansing, re-experience acute symptoms and seemingly our dis-ease got worse, in order to move to a higher level of health and frequency. Remember, Mother Earth's ascension path is no different.
Everything that we have experienced from the old perspective of disconnection from Mother Earth, including earthquakes and sunamis, and oil spills, and hurricanes, etc. all have to be re-experienced from the new consciousness of connection and partnership with Mother Earth. Once we know this, we can actually welcome these disasters and honor the opportunity that is being presented for us here. There is an amazing regeneration taking place on our planet, more and more people working in partnership with Mother earth and the nature spirits to create a new environment, a regeneration. No where is this happening faster than in the Gulf Coast, Louisiana, Texas, Alabama and Florida.
Those of you who are familiar with Slim Spurling's work in creating the environmental harmonizers will be interested to know that he had created a special tool for harmonizing storm energy. It is called a storm chaser, and though they cost about $2800, there are nearly 100 of these that have been placed in these states since the Katrina hurricane. Many many people are quietly working in co-creation with the spirits of the land to neutralize this oil spill, regenerate our deltas and coast lands, and create new harmony on the land.
I would ask each of you to join me in envisioning a miraculous outcome for this oil spill, and opportunity for many many souls to awaken to and have a direct experience of nature's consciousness. Many thanks to all of us awakening light workers.
Slim Spurlings tools:
http://www.lightlifetechnology.com/articles.asp?id=137
With Love and Gratitude,
Kachina
She said that our hearts, the human navigation system, would always lead us back into a repetition of any unhealed or incomplete experience, creating an opportunity to relive that experience, and consciously choose differently to create a different result. Once we have lived through an old fear or traumatic experience, and come out with a different result, we are complete with that experience. And not until.
An example came for me much later in my life that finally brought consciousness into this understanding. My attention was focused for several weeks on oil drilling. I was unhappy at how the oil rigs looked like a mosquito, drilling into Mother Earth's skin and sucking out her blood. I was sad that the rigs were always put in with out consulting the spirits of the land, or even acknowledging them. When I heard of a new oil well going in somewhere up North, I was deeply saddened and felt that humanity was really stuck in a cycle of destructive unconsciousness.
I decided to go into the sweat lodge and take my sadness to the Grandmothers, and seek their wisdom. Together Blew Thunder and I went in, starting the ceremony with an honoring of the 4 directions and Mother Earth. We sang some songs and made prayers for other people who were seeking prayers.
Then the time came when Blew Thunder left, leaving me alone with the Grandmothers. I shared with them my concerns for the oil drilling, and the sadness that this human pattern seemed so entrenched. I asked them how I could help to heal this pattern, was there anything I could do? Long ago, I was reminded that I should not focus my energy, emotion, or intention on something unless I am willing to ACT on changing it. If I do not have the true passion and energy to place toward creating change for that situation, I must leave it for those who do, blessing the situation and imagining full healing for it.
Then the Grandmothers showed me a beautiful perspective. They said that they were happy that these new oil wells were being drilled. They said that we were closer to healing this pattern than I could possible imagine. They told me that even if all the oil drilling were to cease around the whole world, it would not bring healing to that issue. Instead, the cycle would eventually be repeated, the oil wells would be drilled again, and the same situation would return. It had to be so, for the only way it could be healed is if we drilled a co-creative oil well! They asked me to imagine a co-creative oil well.
At first I was confused, not understanding what they even meant by that. Then clarity began to come in, and for several weeks, every time I went into the lodge, I would imagine people smudging the land, drumming, and connecting with the nature spirits. then I would see them asking for permission and location, all the while part of me going,"ha ha, big oil companies will never do this!" I ignored it and envisioned anyway. I envisioned Mother Earth giving willingly to the human beings, and the humans honoring her, building in co-creation, and giving thanks for all the gifts they received through the oil well. I envisioned the animals and birds and flowers and trees, all thriving in the same location as the well. I envisioned special minerals being placed to neutralize any non-beneficial energies and to enhance the local area. It felt amazing to do this work-the weaving of the world.
It was about a year later when I heard about an oil well that had been drilled this way. The woman whose family owned the land that the well was drilled on, told how her relatives went out on the land and drummed with gratitude before the well was drilled! They also agreed to pump the well only as long as Mother Earth agreed to allow its use. I was so astounded! This blueprint is now set in the grid and others will follow. My work on this issue was now complete.
In looking at the recent Earth changes, earthquakes, oil spills, and other catastrophic events taking place on Mother Earth, I must carry forth the same perspective. These events will likely increase and look very bleak on the surface. But we must all refer to our own bodies-our connection to Mother Earth, and remember the path of regeneration. How many times did we go through a cleansing, re-experience acute symptoms and seemingly our dis-ease got worse, in order to move to a higher level of health and frequency. Remember, Mother Earth's ascension path is no different.
Everything that we have experienced from the old perspective of disconnection from Mother Earth, including earthquakes and sunamis, and oil spills, and hurricanes, etc. all have to be re-experienced from the new consciousness of connection and partnership with Mother Earth. Once we know this, we can actually welcome these disasters and honor the opportunity that is being presented for us here. There is an amazing regeneration taking place on our planet, more and more people working in partnership with Mother earth and the nature spirits to create a new environment, a regeneration. No where is this happening faster than in the Gulf Coast, Louisiana, Texas, Alabama and Florida.
Those of you who are familiar with Slim Spurling's work in creating the environmental harmonizers will be interested to know that he had created a special tool for harmonizing storm energy. It is called a storm chaser, and though they cost about $2800, there are nearly 100 of these that have been placed in these states since the Katrina hurricane. Many many people are quietly working in co-creation with the spirits of the land to neutralize this oil spill, regenerate our deltas and coast lands, and create new harmony on the land.
I would ask each of you to join me in envisioning a miraculous outcome for this oil spill, and opportunity for many many souls to awaken to and have a direct experience of nature's consciousness. Many thanks to all of us awakening light workers.
Slim Spurlings tools:
http://www.lightlifetechnology.com/articles.asp?id=137
With Love and Gratitude,
Kachina
My ocean mother and my heartbreak
Since I was a wee-tot guilt had always been my emotional drug of choice. I'm pretty sure I came out of the womb with a specific agreement with guilt in this lifetime.
My mother would always make comments alluding to "my guilty complex" or that they (my parents) didn't have to worry about me misbehaving because "I was too guilty" ironically, I was dubbed the angle because, my guilt/some element of fear, was such a huge influence of my personality and decision making process that it made me a very safe and trustworthy child.
Looking back now I can see that at a young age I was very sensitive and aware, as I'm sure all children are. I felt very connected to the earth and had a huge reaction to littering. I would always pick-up after my friends and attempt to persuade them to stop disrespecting the earth.
I had a sense that every time someone littered she felt pain and it hurt her, mother earth that is. I felt it and it ate away at me, the beginning of my hopelessness and my guilt that I couldn't do more to save her.
Enter the dark depression of my teenage years where I lived in a pool of misery that until recently I didn't fully understand. I was helpless to save the earth, her pain was my pain, was my guilt. Every time I felt sad, depressed any of the "negative" emotions, I would sacrifice and abuse myself internally because, there were people in the world starving, animals with no voice being murdered, rain forests and oceans being destroyed, all of these things that I was powerless to stop but still, how dare I feel sorry for myself when all my basic human needs and then some were met? And so as a way to live with the guilt of my privileged life and powerlessness I settled on depression, I felt that if I kept myself miserable at least mother earth would know that I was choosing to feel her pain fully with her and she would not have to be alone.
Enter Kathryn Sharp who showed me a new way to view the world. Who taught me the power of my thoughts and how by holding a positive vision for mother earth I was doing far more to assist her then by clinging to a negative one. Instantly my depression lifted, since I had been making a choice all along to keep it, with that simple change in perception I no longer needed to maintain my level of self-inflicted pain and instead I would hold something else, something bright, positive and hopeful.
In this moment I have arrived at a crossroad. In an attempt to maintain this positive vision I have allowed myself to become ignorant to all global issues, more or less. The recent earthquakes, I know nothing but that they happened. The further destruction of the amazon, animal poaching, whatever it is I know it exists but I have to separate myself from the details or daily reminders/news otherwise my vision will fade from bright to grey.
However my beautiful bubble of ignorance has been popped and I beginning to think I'm missing a piece of the picture. The recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has triggered me something fierce. I heard about it a few days ago and tried desperately to shut it out but it's getting bigger and it was brought to my direct attention again this evening and I am reacting. It's everything all coming flooding back.
My anger, disappointment and complete contempt for the human race. My huge sadness for all the marine life and the ocean water itself. And my hopelessness and frustration that all we can do is sit back and watch the destruction and the suffering.
The information came in that I am to go get a newspaper tomorrow and read the story about the oil spill. I don't know why but I feel there is a block here that wants to be set free and healed. I no longer feel that ignorance is the best way to approach this and that perhaps having more information will allow me to have a stronger more specific vision?
I am clear that I am here as an earth worker, whatever that means. Oddly and yet now it makes so much sense, looking directly at that problem, in this case the oil spill, is not a place I would willingly like to go so obviously it is exactly where I am to go, my blind spot if you will.
Sorry if this doesn't make any sense it is all coming in right now.
There are so many more elements of this that a pouring into me at this moment but that I can't clearly articulate so I'll stop here for now.
I am not sure if this is an appropriate request but I would like to ask Kathryn or anyone else who may have any information/positive perceptions on the oil spill to speak to this situation and share their input. I am desperately trying to see the silver lining here but seem to be blinded to it, any other perspective other then doom and gloom in regards to the level of destruction done to the ocean would be greatly appreciated, please!
Holding strong in my vision for peace, love and full global regeneration!
Aho.
My mother would always make comments alluding to "my guilty complex" or that they (my parents) didn't have to worry about me misbehaving because "I was too guilty" ironically, I was dubbed the angle because, my guilt/some element of fear, was such a huge influence of my personality and decision making process that it made me a very safe and trustworthy child.
Looking back now I can see that at a young age I was very sensitive and aware, as I'm sure all children are. I felt very connected to the earth and had a huge reaction to littering. I would always pick-up after my friends and attempt to persuade them to stop disrespecting the earth.
I had a sense that every time someone littered she felt pain and it hurt her, mother earth that is. I felt it and it ate away at me, the beginning of my hopelessness and my guilt that I couldn't do more to save her.
Enter the dark depression of my teenage years where I lived in a pool of misery that until recently I didn't fully understand. I was helpless to save the earth, her pain was my pain, was my guilt. Every time I felt sad, depressed any of the "negative" emotions, I would sacrifice and abuse myself internally because, there were people in the world starving, animals with no voice being murdered, rain forests and oceans being destroyed, all of these things that I was powerless to stop but still, how dare I feel sorry for myself when all my basic human needs and then some were met? And so as a way to live with the guilt of my privileged life and powerlessness I settled on depression, I felt that if I kept myself miserable at least mother earth would know that I was choosing to feel her pain fully with her and she would not have to be alone.
Enter Kathryn Sharp who showed me a new way to view the world. Who taught me the power of my thoughts and how by holding a positive vision for mother earth I was doing far more to assist her then by clinging to a negative one. Instantly my depression lifted, since I had been making a choice all along to keep it, with that simple change in perception I no longer needed to maintain my level of self-inflicted pain and instead I would hold something else, something bright, positive and hopeful.
In this moment I have arrived at a crossroad. In an attempt to maintain this positive vision I have allowed myself to become ignorant to all global issues, more or less. The recent earthquakes, I know nothing but that they happened. The further destruction of the amazon, animal poaching, whatever it is I know it exists but I have to separate myself from the details or daily reminders/news otherwise my vision will fade from bright to grey.
However my beautiful bubble of ignorance has been popped and I beginning to think I'm missing a piece of the picture. The recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has triggered me something fierce. I heard about it a few days ago and tried desperately to shut it out but it's getting bigger and it was brought to my direct attention again this evening and I am reacting. It's everything all coming flooding back.
My anger, disappointment and complete contempt for the human race. My huge sadness for all the marine life and the ocean water itself. And my hopelessness and frustration that all we can do is sit back and watch the destruction and the suffering.
The information came in that I am to go get a newspaper tomorrow and read the story about the oil spill. I don't know why but I feel there is a block here that wants to be set free and healed. I no longer feel that ignorance is the best way to approach this and that perhaps having more information will allow me to have a stronger more specific vision?
I am clear that I am here as an earth worker, whatever that means. Oddly and yet now it makes so much sense, looking directly at that problem, in this case the oil spill, is not a place I would willingly like to go so obviously it is exactly where I am to go, my blind spot if you will.
Sorry if this doesn't make any sense it is all coming in right now.
There are so many more elements of this that a pouring into me at this moment but that I can't clearly articulate so I'll stop here for now.
I am not sure if this is an appropriate request but I would like to ask Kathryn or anyone else who may have any information/positive perceptions on the oil spill to speak to this situation and share their input. I am desperately trying to see the silver lining here but seem to be blinded to it, any other perspective other then doom and gloom in regards to the level of destruction done to the ocean would be greatly appreciated, please!
Holding strong in my vision for peace, love and full global regeneration!
Aho.
Wednesday, May 5
Response & Reflection
I sit and write this evening as a response to Micheal's earlier post asking for our honest feedback regarding this three month process. I have to say that I too miss the eye to eye, soul to soul contact of being around people on a similar path. Unlike many of you, I have not been through this particular 90 day series before but have recent memories that send wonderful chills throughout my body regarding my healing process and the involvement of the Sharp's healing souls. Of course I would prefer the face to face interactions, of course I crave the contact with your physical beings...BUT that said, I am here and you all are where you are so this blogging process and online connection is absolutely PRICELESS to me and my own healing path. I would much rather be here now, then not at all.
When I first heard about this course, Kathryn mentioned it being in AK and I thought "I have to get there"...but then comes life and the logistics of getting there for an extended period of time..."ugh". THEN this virtual option comes about, which closes the 5000 mile gap quite nicely for me and still allows me to connect with the souls of all of you that so openly and honestly share your stories and lives with me...us. It brings tears to my eyes that I am a part of a community spread across the nation who all have so many things in common and yet are so very uniquely special.
Prior to this, I had NEVER shared my thoughts on a blog before. This is a new experience to me. I tend to write my thoughts out on a regular basis, but most times it does not include keys or screens or wi-fi. A simple pen and notebook serve me quite well. But where do those paper words go? Mine go on a shelf or in a storage bin to not be read again for months or even years, no one sees them, no one reads them, no one else even knows they exist except me. Poor words...lonely...beautiful words. But here their world has been turned upside down! Here they are cared for and listened to and tended. Here they have a life beyond my bookshelf, beyond their hiding place under my bed. Here they are alive and well. And the best part of all this for me is that here they are HEALED. Fully. With love and attention as all things are healed. One can always be heard but not always listened to. You are my listeners. This is a gift regardless of eye contact or physical location.
This all said, looking forward to next years 90 day experience, I would love to be able to talk with the group, maybe in the form of a conference call or something of the sorts. For me, this would take it one step closer to the group, one step closer to each other. With regular verbal contact, I would feel a greater sense of connection and commitment to the entire process while still maintaining an amount of privacy and contact we can each control.
This has been a true healing process for me. I have let go as I intended and though we near the end...where one thing ends, another begins.
I am in a boat now (instead of flailing in the water grasping for the shore and air), flowing with the current of a new river full of light and love and forgiveness. My emotional goal has been accomplished with the release of the my fingers from the banks. That is my end and my beginning all in one.
To the next step. To you all.
Thank you for listening~
When I first heard about this course, Kathryn mentioned it being in AK and I thought "I have to get there"...but then comes life and the logistics of getting there for an extended period of time..."ugh". THEN this virtual option comes about, which closes the 5000 mile gap quite nicely for me and still allows me to connect with the souls of all of you that so openly and honestly share your stories and lives with me...us. It brings tears to my eyes that I am a part of a community spread across the nation who all have so many things in common and yet are so very uniquely special.
Prior to this, I had NEVER shared my thoughts on a blog before. This is a new experience to me. I tend to write my thoughts out on a regular basis, but most times it does not include keys or screens or wi-fi. A simple pen and notebook serve me quite well. But where do those paper words go? Mine go on a shelf or in a storage bin to not be read again for months or even years, no one sees them, no one reads them, no one else even knows they exist except me. Poor words...lonely...beautiful words. But here their world has been turned upside down! Here they are cared for and listened to and tended. Here they have a life beyond my bookshelf, beyond their hiding place under my bed. Here they are alive and well. And the best part of all this for me is that here they are HEALED. Fully. With love and attention as all things are healed. One can always be heard but not always listened to. You are my listeners. This is a gift regardless of eye contact or physical location.
This all said, looking forward to next years 90 day experience, I would love to be able to talk with the group, maybe in the form of a conference call or something of the sorts. For me, this would take it one step closer to the group, one step closer to each other. With regular verbal contact, I would feel a greater sense of connection and commitment to the entire process while still maintaining an amount of privacy and contact we can each control.
This has been a true healing process for me. I have let go as I intended and though we near the end...where one thing ends, another begins.
I am in a boat now (instead of flailing in the water grasping for the shore and air), flowing with the current of a new river full of light and love and forgiveness. My emotional goal has been accomplished with the release of the my fingers from the banks. That is my end and my beginning all in one.
To the next step. To you all.
Thank you for listening~
The Rear View Mirror
Blew Thunder here. One of my challenges, being an artist and a perfectionist, is when the time comes to review my responsibility as a co-creator of this 90 day process that we have all signed up for. In reviewing and looking back at what worked and maybe what didn't work, and looking at how to take all of that forward into the future.
This is a space that I struggle with from time to time, especially the part of thinking that I can be God. Probably the number one biggest healing process of my life, was in 1986 when I walked into a 12 step meeting. When I learned to open my mouth and share what was inside me-the pains, the hurts, the joys-through that process the light that came in allowed me to see my truths and my lies. Most importantly, it allowed me to release my shame and abandonment, and to truly find out who I really am.
Moving forward to 2006 when Kachina and I created this 90 day bridge, seeing the talking circle opening up and allowing the light in for each particpant for healing, was an incredibly awesome experience. And it was a different arena than a 12 step program, created by all people being there by choice.
A dear old mentor of mine, Bucky Fuller, used to say that a bad policy was better than no policy at all. Although I despise the word policy, he also used the example of a fruit bowl container to protect the fruit from bruising and rolling off the table. So many times through this 90 day process I have felt that I did not create the right fruit bowl because of the silence in blogging from some of the participants. I now realize that the gradient of writing versus talking is much higher for some people. And I am astounded by the ability some of the participants showed in writing skill. This is something I personally do not have. I know through my own walk the opportunity that has potentially been missed for some of the people.
So at this point I am verbalizing what I believe my failures are in creating a fruit bowl of safety for all to participate at a life-changing level, and blessing each and every one of you on your path. I am detaching from the outcome, with knowing that next time (if there is a next time) the fruit bowl will look different. Through my walk in asking different elders the same question; if they had the opportunity to do life again, what would they do different this time? Every one of them, without hesitation, replied; "I would take more RISKS!"
For me, because I can not see people and look in their eyes, I can not get a sense of where they are in the process. And my life is all about adding value, and right now I have not seen if there has been any value added! I am not feeling a presence of the participants, and I feel like we have somehow dropped the ball.
I am asking for your feedback, as participants, and feel free to e-mail me, as to your experience with the 90 day journey. Your feedback will help us in recreating the fruit bowl for the next group of journeyors.
Aho! Blew Thunder
This is a space that I struggle with from time to time, especially the part of thinking that I can be God. Probably the number one biggest healing process of my life, was in 1986 when I walked into a 12 step meeting. When I learned to open my mouth and share what was inside me-the pains, the hurts, the joys-through that process the light that came in allowed me to see my truths and my lies. Most importantly, it allowed me to release my shame and abandonment, and to truly find out who I really am.
Moving forward to 2006 when Kachina and I created this 90 day bridge, seeing the talking circle opening up and allowing the light in for each particpant for healing, was an incredibly awesome experience. And it was a different arena than a 12 step program, created by all people being there by choice.
A dear old mentor of mine, Bucky Fuller, used to say that a bad policy was better than no policy at all. Although I despise the word policy, he also used the example of a fruit bowl container to protect the fruit from bruising and rolling off the table. So many times through this 90 day process I have felt that I did not create the right fruit bowl because of the silence in blogging from some of the participants. I now realize that the gradient of writing versus talking is much higher for some people. And I am astounded by the ability some of the participants showed in writing skill. This is something I personally do not have. I know through my own walk the opportunity that has potentially been missed for some of the people.
So at this point I am verbalizing what I believe my failures are in creating a fruit bowl of safety for all to participate at a life-changing level, and blessing each and every one of you on your path. I am detaching from the outcome, with knowing that next time (if there is a next time) the fruit bowl will look different. Through my walk in asking different elders the same question; if they had the opportunity to do life again, what would they do different this time? Every one of them, without hesitation, replied; "I would take more RISKS!"
For me, because I can not see people and look in their eyes, I can not get a sense of where they are in the process. And my life is all about adding value, and right now I have not seen if there has been any value added! I am not feeling a presence of the participants, and I feel like we have somehow dropped the ball.
I am asking for your feedback, as participants, and feel free to e-mail me, as to your experience with the 90 day journey. Your feedback will help us in recreating the fruit bowl for the next group of journeyors.
Aho! Blew Thunder
Meeting with an Ancestor
Yesterday Blew Thunder and I went into town, to take packages to the post office, among other town errands. When we walked into the post office with fifteen boxes, a flurry of activity began to build around us. Keep in miund, this is a very small rural town with a population around 2000. Most trips to the post office involve us and seeing the post mistress. Sometimes we see one or two other people as they check their boxes. It is usually very quiet.
Today was different. People came in and out as we stood, recording each box, at the service desk. Blew thunder began to chat with the postal employee as I filled out the rest of the forms for the packages. One woman told him a story about how she had gotten a wound and used a tiny bit of essential oil which we had gifted to our neighbor Nacho a long time ago when he was injured. She said it was simply amazing how well it worked. Another woman became interested and asked if essential oils could help with anxiety for her son. Then another woman came in and piped up that she needed high quality oils and was looking for a place to find them (I gave her our website and directed her to the sources page to order them from our buyers club). A man even came in the little lobby and took part in the conversation. It was a wild little vortex of people telling healing stories.
The clincher for me was when the first woman, who I did not even know, came up to me and looked in my eyes, and said, "Thank you for writing this book. My partner and I have started the Ascension and are both noticing changes already." I then realized that she must be the partner of a woman who had purchased the Food for Ascension book here in Fredonia. She was using the book to guide her in raising her frequency, and already she was happy about the results! It was awesome and humbling at the same time.
Then a while later, we went into the US Forrest Service office. As we talked with the man at the desk, we dropped off the permit that Blew Thunder had to get for us to hold a clean-up on Forrest Road 22, to happen Friday and Saturday. We will, of course, begin with a song and drum to honor Mother Earth. A small native man walked in to the room behind us and joined the conversation. The man behind the desk introduced him as Richard, who had been with the Fredonia Forrest Service office for over 30 years! Richard smiled and said he felt like it was 2000 years, and I nodded, In a way, it was 2000 years I am sure!
Some how the conversation led to herbs and healing, and I said that I do heal with herbs, and I do it in the old way-talking to the spirits of the herbs to learn from them how to use these medicines. Richard's face lit up and he said that "nobody believes it anymore", and then proceeded to tell us that he was a Hopi from Hotevilla, and his father had been a healer and an herbalist. Richard had inherited the ability to see and hear in the spirit world, but had chosen not to become a healer. He made this choice because he wanted a family of his own, and in the Hopi tradition at the time, there was a great sacrifice for the family of a healer because he would be a t the beck and call of every person in need. He knew that his family life would suffer and he chose to let it go. He still does have his father's stash of wild herbs in his possession, and knows where to find them.
We talked a little longer, then the conversation went back to the permit. For a moment, Richard looked at me. He said his palms were tingling. He said that in the kiva ceremonies, when the spirits come in, they talk to him by making his palms tingle. That is his point of connection and communication with the spirit world. He said his palms were telling him that I was "the real thing".
We all exchanged our greetings and went our separate ways, agreeing that we would all be meeting again. The man behind the desk (in a wheel chair) also disclosed that he had been a healer and then his heart was broken. He wanted to know if oils could mend a broken heart. I promised to talk to him again about that.
Everywhere we went, people just started talking about healing. It was like walking around in an ancestral vortex. Something remarkable has changed for me with the mergence of my Lakota GGGrandmother. I feel that I have grounded a piece of myself in a whole new way. And I did not even know it was missing!!!
Kachina
Today was different. People came in and out as we stood, recording each box, at the service desk. Blew thunder began to chat with the postal employee as I filled out the rest of the forms for the packages. One woman told him a story about how she had gotten a wound and used a tiny bit of essential oil which we had gifted to our neighbor Nacho a long time ago when he was injured. She said it was simply amazing how well it worked. Another woman became interested and asked if essential oils could help with anxiety for her son. Then another woman came in and piped up that she needed high quality oils and was looking for a place to find them (I gave her our website and directed her to the sources page to order them from our buyers club). A man even came in the little lobby and took part in the conversation. It was a wild little vortex of people telling healing stories.
The clincher for me was when the first woman, who I did not even know, came up to me and looked in my eyes, and said, "Thank you for writing this book. My partner and I have started the Ascension and are both noticing changes already." I then realized that she must be the partner of a woman who had purchased the Food for Ascension book here in Fredonia. She was using the book to guide her in raising her frequency, and already she was happy about the results! It was awesome and humbling at the same time.
Then a while later, we went into the US Forrest Service office. As we talked with the man at the desk, we dropped off the permit that Blew Thunder had to get for us to hold a clean-up on Forrest Road 22, to happen Friday and Saturday. We will, of course, begin with a song and drum to honor Mother Earth. A small native man walked in to the room behind us and joined the conversation. The man behind the desk introduced him as Richard, who had been with the Fredonia Forrest Service office for over 30 years! Richard smiled and said he felt like it was 2000 years, and I nodded, In a way, it was 2000 years I am sure!
Some how the conversation led to herbs and healing, and I said that I do heal with herbs, and I do it in the old way-talking to the spirits of the herbs to learn from them how to use these medicines. Richard's face lit up and he said that "nobody believes it anymore", and then proceeded to tell us that he was a Hopi from Hotevilla, and his father had been a healer and an herbalist. Richard had inherited the ability to see and hear in the spirit world, but had chosen not to become a healer. He made this choice because he wanted a family of his own, and in the Hopi tradition at the time, there was a great sacrifice for the family of a healer because he would be a t the beck and call of every person in need. He knew that his family life would suffer and he chose to let it go. He still does have his father's stash of wild herbs in his possession, and knows where to find them.
We talked a little longer, then the conversation went back to the permit. For a moment, Richard looked at me. He said his palms were tingling. He said that in the kiva ceremonies, when the spirits come in, they talk to him by making his palms tingle. That is his point of connection and communication with the spirit world. He said his palms were telling him that I was "the real thing".
We all exchanged our greetings and went our separate ways, agreeing that we would all be meeting again. The man behind the desk (in a wheel chair) also disclosed that he had been a healer and then his heart was broken. He wanted to know if oils could mend a broken heart. I promised to talk to him again about that.
Everywhere we went, people just started talking about healing. It was like walking around in an ancestral vortex. Something remarkable has changed for me with the mergence of my Lakota GGGrandmother. I feel that I have grounded a piece of myself in a whole new way. And I did not even know it was missing!!!
Kachina
Tuesday, May 4
Mothers surge is daughters purge
I woke up early to a beautiful Alaskan spring day, sunny, clear, the forecast predicting low 60's. I lay in bed for a while looking out my window in awe of the sky waiting for that surge of morning energy to motivate me out of bed. It came in a surprise pouncing form this morning as my sisters dog Toby came bouncing in a jumped up to cuddle and say good morning. I decided to get up and venture out into the day with Tobes for a long morning walk. Leash in one hand journal in the other we began my favorite walk to a piece of undeveloped property near by with the most incredible view of the inlet and mountains and a tree that I love to sit under and write. Unfortunately, when we arrived we accidental stumbled upon a baby moose and as we turned to leave we nearly bumped into the mother who was not amused by how close we were in proximity to her calf. She gave me a warning stare then took several more aggressive warning steps towards us. We quickly turned and headed back the way we came and I expressed my apologizes and blessing of love and light in their direction.
When I got home I gave Toby his treats for being such a good boy on the walk then made myself breakfast. I was having a weird craving this morning for toast with peanut butter, honey and bananas, something I hardly ever eat but fortunately had all the ingredients for, and a cup of earl grey. Even after the beautiful walk I was feeling a little bit off, like I couldn't quite access enough energy to stimulate myself to go out and engage in all the things I had designated for that day.
It was mid-morning now but I could feel the sensation of relaxation coming over me. This wasn't the first time and I am now honoring these days and surges in Mother Earths energy which ironically put me into a comatose state. I went back to bed to finish reading the book I had started the week before and did some quick dowsing. Checking in with my physical body and getting clear on what I was experiencing, it's always the same cause and symptoms but I always check just to be sure.
Extreme exhaustion in a moment as if I had been hit by a tranquilizer gun the cause always dowses as 100% from the surges in Mother Earths energy field.
I could fight it but I feel these coma like states are essential to my integration and given that I have the time to allow myself to succumb to them and rest when I feel these urges coming on I choose the simpler route and surrender.
So I laid back down in my bed, it was about 1:00 now, and stare out the window at the sun and cloudless blue sky, I let the guilt of not being outside dissipate because I know I am being called to rest and I honor what my body is asking me for I've come too far to kill this moment with feelings of guilt and shame and what it is I think I should be doing. I crack the window for some fresh air, lower the blinds just enough so that the blaring sun doesn't blind and melt me while I rest and close my eyes to sleep away this glorious spring day.
I woke up six hours later, ravenous and dehydrated as if I had just worked a full day in the field and then some? I drug myself out of bed and made a quick pot of tomato soup and 2 veggie filled wraps, downed a quart of water and still wanted more then went back up-stairs to lay down and wait, for what I don't know?
I have gotten into the habit of doing my blue road heeling's in the shower with the assistance of the water spirits for cleansing and purification purposes. So now shower time is blue road healing time and I do it everyday because why not and who knows what and where I pick things up. All I know for sure is that I feel so incredible when I get out like I am re-born brand new after every shower it's enough of a reason for me to honor and stick to this ritual.
And now, showered, fed and rejuvenated I am all ready for bed, maybe a movie?
The old me would have cringed at a day so utterly "wasted" but the new me knows waaayyy to much about the impotence of self love and care. I listen and value my bodies wisdom above that of my intellectual mind and so though on the surface it would seem that I have accomplished nothing today I know it was a glorious day well spent!
I am in my blue circle.
When I got home I gave Toby his treats for being such a good boy on the walk then made myself breakfast. I was having a weird craving this morning for toast with peanut butter, honey and bananas, something I hardly ever eat but fortunately had all the ingredients for, and a cup of earl grey. Even after the beautiful walk I was feeling a little bit off, like I couldn't quite access enough energy to stimulate myself to go out and engage in all the things I had designated for that day.
It was mid-morning now but I could feel the sensation of relaxation coming over me. This wasn't the first time and I am now honoring these days and surges in Mother Earths energy which ironically put me into a comatose state. I went back to bed to finish reading the book I had started the week before and did some quick dowsing. Checking in with my physical body and getting clear on what I was experiencing, it's always the same cause and symptoms but I always check just to be sure.
Extreme exhaustion in a moment as if I had been hit by a tranquilizer gun the cause always dowses as 100% from the surges in Mother Earths energy field.
I could fight it but I feel these coma like states are essential to my integration and given that I have the time to allow myself to succumb to them and rest when I feel these urges coming on I choose the simpler route and surrender.
So I laid back down in my bed, it was about 1:00 now, and stare out the window at the sun and cloudless blue sky, I let the guilt of not being outside dissipate because I know I am being called to rest and I honor what my body is asking me for I've come too far to kill this moment with feelings of guilt and shame and what it is I think I should be doing. I crack the window for some fresh air, lower the blinds just enough so that the blaring sun doesn't blind and melt me while I rest and close my eyes to sleep away this glorious spring day.
I woke up six hours later, ravenous and dehydrated as if I had just worked a full day in the field and then some? I drug myself out of bed and made a quick pot of tomato soup and 2 veggie filled wraps, downed a quart of water and still wanted more then went back up-stairs to lay down and wait, for what I don't know?
I have gotten into the habit of doing my blue road heeling's in the shower with the assistance of the water spirits for cleansing and purification purposes. So now shower time is blue road healing time and I do it everyday because why not and who knows what and where I pick things up. All I know for sure is that I feel so incredible when I get out like I am re-born brand new after every shower it's enough of a reason for me to honor and stick to this ritual.
And now, showered, fed and rejuvenated I am all ready for bed, maybe a movie?
The old me would have cringed at a day so utterly "wasted" but the new me knows waaayyy to much about the impotence of self love and care. I listen and value my bodies wisdom above that of my intellectual mind and so though on the surface it would seem that I have accomplished nothing today I know it was a glorious day well spent!
I am in my blue circle.
Mayan Connection
At the hospital my brother Francisco has a sitter 24 hours a day to make sure he does not harm himself. Usually they are from another country. I have been asking each one where they are from figuring that one day one is going to say "Guatemala." Today it happened! This lovely black-skinned woman Karla is from the east coastal area of Guatemala and has not been back since 1989 because it is too dangerous with gangs. We talked about her childhood, how she loved her homeland and some difficult experiences she had. She was excited for Frank to wake up from dosing to talk to her about Guatemala since they both love the country so much. When I left, Karla and I hugged. I felt an awesome tingle light up my heart! I felt unusually comfortable. I think she gave me a heart-opening gift. She later told me she felt unusually comfortable in our embrace too. I believe she will be a key in Frank's healing and that we will be getting to know her a lot better. She said there are few Guatemalans in Anchorage but she has two sisters with families here. One sister works on Frank's hospital floor and she will introduce them. She will also be back tomorrow to look over Frank as a sitter. After tomorrow Karla said she will stop in to visit and talk about Guatemala. YES! Thank you to the Mayan spirits who brought beautiful Karla!
Monday, May 3
Loving Exchanges through the Veil
My brother Francisco started eating some food after 3 weeks of no food or drink! They started injected him with psych medication. He is in the hospital, very emaciated. His "delusions" are very active and sound like dreams (I think some of these are experiences in another dimension) and he sometimes can't sleep for fear of danger. He sometimes speaks in Spanish and talks about the Mayans. When it felt like I could do nothing to help him in the physical, Kathryn suggested that I can have conversations with his spirit through dowsing which has been very helpful. As she said, he is quite lucid in his spirit form. I keep holding the picture of him whole, healed and happily giving his gifts in the world.
I am still in the process of finding a resolution for our family beach house in my mother's estate. I did offer it to my nieces at a considerable discount but they needed an even greater discount which would not be fair to other beneficiaries. My crossed-over brother Bennett, my nieces' father, guided me not to accept their lower offer. I have been guided to do a ceremony tomorrow to ask the spirits at the White Sage Landing Medicine Wheel for permission to connect with the beach house Medicine Wheel through the grids. Bennett is guiding me to let my nieces spend another summer in the beach house so he and their crossed-over mother Barbara can connect through the Medicine Wheel with the girls, such that the girls will have an epiphany connecting them to their parents in a spiritual form. Ben told me that by waiting another year to sell I will be allowing for the best possible solution for all, for the highest good, and I saw a huge energetic spiral into the sky from that Wheel that I understood to be huge energetic healing both human and planetary. I will be helping Bennett and Barbara help their children. I adore every opportunity I get to do loving acts for my brother Bennett. It is an amazing and deeply loving feeling to be able to give them love across the veils, to know that our relationship actively continues! And he is loving me back too. He told me I will also benefit because it will deepen my connection to spiritual forces. He tells me all will work out perfectly. Ben said he is bringing in a powerful person in alignment with the energies to buy the house next year. I love that our relationship is alive back and forth across the veil. As Barbara always affirmed after their crossing, "We are alive and present! We are now able to love you even more (from where we are now than when we were in the physical)."
My wrist is better. Today the doctor told me I need to wear the brace for another month (bummer!) and go to physical therapy. It smells like a gym shoe. In an x-ray he pointed out a part of the wrist bone that was impacted and left a gap and where he said I will have arthritis. I thought "that's what you think, I will regenerate that bone and have no future pain or discomfort!"
I am grateful for my guides, my teachers, my spiritual family, loving Mother Earth and to be a part of this loving and amazing Creation.
Liz
I am still in the process of finding a resolution for our family beach house in my mother's estate. I did offer it to my nieces at a considerable discount but they needed an even greater discount which would not be fair to other beneficiaries. My crossed-over brother Bennett, my nieces' father, guided me not to accept their lower offer. I have been guided to do a ceremony tomorrow to ask the spirits at the White Sage Landing Medicine Wheel for permission to connect with the beach house Medicine Wheel through the grids. Bennett is guiding me to let my nieces spend another summer in the beach house so he and their crossed-over mother Barbara can connect through the Medicine Wheel with the girls, such that the girls will have an epiphany connecting them to their parents in a spiritual form. Ben told me that by waiting another year to sell I will be allowing for the best possible solution for all, for the highest good, and I saw a huge energetic spiral into the sky from that Wheel that I understood to be huge energetic healing both human and planetary. I will be helping Bennett and Barbara help their children. I adore every opportunity I get to do loving acts for my brother Bennett. It is an amazing and deeply loving feeling to be able to give them love across the veils, to know that our relationship actively continues! And he is loving me back too. He told me I will also benefit because it will deepen my connection to spiritual forces. He tells me all will work out perfectly. Ben said he is bringing in a powerful person in alignment with the energies to buy the house next year. I love that our relationship is alive back and forth across the veil. As Barbara always affirmed after their crossing, "We are alive and present! We are now able to love you even more (from where we are now than when we were in the physical)."
My wrist is better. Today the doctor told me I need to wear the brace for another month (bummer!) and go to physical therapy. It smells like a gym shoe. In an x-ray he pointed out a part of the wrist bone that was impacted and left a gap and where he said I will have arthritis. I thought "that's what you think, I will regenerate that bone and have no future pain or discomfort!"
I am grateful for my guides, my teachers, my spiritual family, loving Mother Earth and to be a part of this loving and amazing Creation.
Liz
Planetary Healing
So often, when an unexpected healing comes to me personally (or to others around me), right on its heels follows an opportunity for planetary healing. Once again this was the case over this past weekend for me.
My Lakota great great grandmother came into my being, as never before-as I Blogged about last. Then on Saturday, the pinon pine tree people finally gave permission to connect with them for a dowsing session. I had been noticing that they are showing signs of stress, brown needles, etc. I had been given just a little information, that it was connected to a process they were carrying out for the release of an energy from directly opposite side of the Earth, particularly a mountain outside of Kabul, Afghanistan.
Saturday, I had permission to connect with them and learn more about this and how to participate consciously with the process. The grandfather tree to the southwest of the house was the one who volunteered to connect. He said that the tree people would benefit by my forming a triangulation with two other plants-a small burr producing herb, and a bush we call Indian tea (ephedra). I formed this triangulation, then was guided to place green calcite for the tree, and to assist and participate with the process by envisioning people in Afghanistan working together in harmony and co-operation, honoring male and female beings in equality, and open-heartedness. I held this vision and blue and gold light danced around as I rattled it into the Earth grid. It was an amazing experience.
I then agreed to place flower essence at the base of the trees to transmute human sadness, which was effecting the trees. After this ceremony, the coyotes howled ONCE. It was so unusual that I thought it was my imagination, but the spirits around me said no, it was real.
Later in the day, I suddenly received permission to begin placing the 28 spokes of the medicine wheel! I have been waiting 2 years for this moment, and now it came. My Lakota grandmother was right beside me, telling me how to make it and what it will be used for. It is a wheel to to the stars. When it is finished, it will create a holographic time mer-ka-ba. I am to move two stones around the wheel in a daily rhythm. It was called the Lakota long count, and she remembers it!
I was given a window of time to place the first 7 spokes, and to mark the next 7. Then I was finished. The wind began to pick up dramatically. A vulture came and hovered right over the wheel, dipping down close to the ground and soaring up again. He hovered and hovered, then flew off and made another fly-by. It was fun to watch him acknowledging our work-Blew Thunder said that he hung around the house and the medicine wheel area all day!
The next day (Sunday) a storm came in and it snowed! Just enough to assimilate the new energy into the Earth. Now it is bright and sunny and 75 degrees.
Many blessings to each of us. As we raise our hands to take on the healing for our ancestors, so is the earth healed and the new world born.
Kachina
My Lakota great great grandmother came into my being, as never before-as I Blogged about last. Then on Saturday, the pinon pine tree people finally gave permission to connect with them for a dowsing session. I had been noticing that they are showing signs of stress, brown needles, etc. I had been given just a little information, that it was connected to a process they were carrying out for the release of an energy from directly opposite side of the Earth, particularly a mountain outside of Kabul, Afghanistan.
Saturday, I had permission to connect with them and learn more about this and how to participate consciously with the process. The grandfather tree to the southwest of the house was the one who volunteered to connect. He said that the tree people would benefit by my forming a triangulation with two other plants-a small burr producing herb, and a bush we call Indian tea (ephedra). I formed this triangulation, then was guided to place green calcite for the tree, and to assist and participate with the process by envisioning people in Afghanistan working together in harmony and co-operation, honoring male and female beings in equality, and open-heartedness. I held this vision and blue and gold light danced around as I rattled it into the Earth grid. It was an amazing experience.
I then agreed to place flower essence at the base of the trees to transmute human sadness, which was effecting the trees. After this ceremony, the coyotes howled ONCE. It was so unusual that I thought it was my imagination, but the spirits around me said no, it was real.
Later in the day, I suddenly received permission to begin placing the 28 spokes of the medicine wheel! I have been waiting 2 years for this moment, and now it came. My Lakota grandmother was right beside me, telling me how to make it and what it will be used for. It is a wheel to to the stars. When it is finished, it will create a holographic time mer-ka-ba. I am to move two stones around the wheel in a daily rhythm. It was called the Lakota long count, and she remembers it!
I was given a window of time to place the first 7 spokes, and to mark the next 7. Then I was finished. The wind began to pick up dramatically. A vulture came and hovered right over the wheel, dipping down close to the ground and soaring up again. He hovered and hovered, then flew off and made another fly-by. It was fun to watch him acknowledging our work-Blew Thunder said that he hung around the house and the medicine wheel area all day!
The next day (Sunday) a storm came in and it snowed! Just enough to assimilate the new energy into the Earth. Now it is bright and sunny and 75 degrees.
Many blessings to each of us. As we raise our hands to take on the healing for our ancestors, so is the earth healed and the new world born.
Kachina
Thursday, April 29
An Unexpected Gift
Hi everyone,
I have had two of the most amazing days, and I am so thankful I did not BLOG about it until I had all of the story! Here goes;
Yesterday Michael and I had errands to run in Kanab and Fredonia. It took us a good part of the day, as we synchronistically ran into a woman we have been waiting to meet that will be connecting us with about 400 people at Best Friends; a no kill animal sanctuary located in a very sacred canyon outside of Kanab. She feels that there are people there just waiting to connect with Food for Ascension, so when the time is right, we will let her know.
Now on the drive back home to White Sage Landing, I looked up and saw a BEAUTIFUL perfectly heart-shaped cloud. It was pink in the center, and all around the edges it was transluscent, with all of the rainbow colors around the complete edge of the cloud! It was a rainbow heart. I don't know if you are aware of this, but the name of our big community drum is Rainbow Heart. We watched this glowing sundog-like cloud follow us until Eagle Knoll, then we looked up and it was gone. It was so unlike anything I had ever seen before. Just an incredible gift from the Ancestors.
Around 6:55, we went to go out and do a ceremony in the medicine wheel. I had prepared the wheel the day before with special balances and a blue road healing. Then I had begun to lay out the 28 spokes in the wheel as the Ancestors had asked me to do. I was only able to lay out one direction (East) and then they asked me to stop.
Now yesterday, as we were getting ready to go out to the wheel, the strongest wind came up and was blowing like a regular hurricane. We looked at each other and both knew at once that we were not to go out in the wind this time, but instead to go into the bedroom where the Rainbow Heart drum is being stored. There we went in and sang songs, and did our prayers and intentions. We connected with the others who are in ceremony during these two portal days (tomorrow is also a portal), and did more blue road healing for the whole area and the earth. It was very beautiful and personal.
Then last night, Michael pulled out a movie that he had ordered from Netflix. Little did I know, it would reveal much to me that I had never realized I didn't know. (If that makes sense!) I had just a few hours earlier, told the story of my great great grandmother who was a woman in a band of Lakota people who were running from the Indian agents. These soldiers had orders to round up all the Lakota and put them on a reservation, and get them counted and recorded for what would become the Indian Bureau later.
Crazy Horse, a very wise medicine man and leader of this band, insisted that the Lakota should not allow themselves to be counted and confined on a reservation. He felt that they had a better chance to maintain their way of life if they could keep their freedom. He kept the band on the move for a long time, and avoided capture. But this way of life, running and running, was wearing his people down.
At last he allowed himself to be captured, but just before he did, he sent his band of Lakota across the border into Canada. There he thought they would find freedom from the soldiers and the Indian Bureau. So they all went North, including my great, great grandmother.
But the idea of freedom turned into an experience of survival. The little band of Lakota had to settle quickly because winter was already setting in. They had no homes or possessions, no knowledge of the local game patterns, and were inundated with snow and cold. Some of the women volunteered to be sold to the German trappers in the area in return for money that would buy supplies for the Lakota to survive. One of these young women was my great, great grandmother, who then became the wife of a German trapper.
I know very little about her life-only what my grandfather passed down to me in the stories of my childhood. But I did know that she was never allowed to speak Lakota-only German in the home that they shared. When she had children, they were taught only German and knowledge of the Lakota ancestry was forbidden.
Together this couple had 6 children. Then one day, everything changed. My great, great grandfather took his oldest son out with him for a few days to check the trap-line. When they returned, they found that a band of Blackfoot had come in and killed all the children and the Lakota woman. She had been unable to protect her children, and had died trying to defend them. Only the father and his son were left now.
For some reason, this story came into my consciousness from way back when I was 16 and my grandfather shared it with me. Then, a few hours earlier, I watching a Steven Spielberg movie for television, filmed with the Lakota, in the 1840's. I heard the songs and dances, and this movie stirred something in me. Then I went to sleep, thinking how synchronicity continues to find me.
In my dreams, my great, great grandmother came to me. She showed me what it had felt like to her when she had to leave her people and her way of life forever. She showed me the dreams she had had, and the desires to see her children grow up and dance in peace. None of them were fulfilled.
Then she showed me how all of those dreams had been fulfilled through my life! I saw how I had been able to watch my daughter learn fancy dancing when she was 13 years old, dancing in costume and loving it. My great, great grandmother had been watching.
Then I saw how she had been watching as I got to choose my own life-mate, based on love; as I learned the Lakota ceremonies, and shared them freely with other people; prayed inb the sweat lodge and became initiated into the Lakota pipe ceremony; she was always watching. Now at last, I am about to receive my true pipe into its ceremony. And every dream that she had, is now fulfilled.
In my dream, there was a gold and turquoise colored light that illuminated everything. I felt this ancestor of mine as her energy field moved into mine, and seemingly merged with my own body. When I awakened, I was moved to tears, and have felt very sensitive today, on the edge emotionally. And my heart feels like a ball of fire that has a palpable energy radiating from it. I am just giving myself time and space to integrate what is occurring. It is a greater gift than I could have imagined. So many pieces of the puzzle just fell into place now, and it feels right.
My gratitude goes out to the ancestors that walk beside us and see through our eyes every day. May all of your dreams be fulfilled!
Love,
Kachina
I have had two of the most amazing days, and I am so thankful I did not BLOG about it until I had all of the story! Here goes;
Yesterday Michael and I had errands to run in Kanab and Fredonia. It took us a good part of the day, as we synchronistically ran into a woman we have been waiting to meet that will be connecting us with about 400 people at Best Friends; a no kill animal sanctuary located in a very sacred canyon outside of Kanab. She feels that there are people there just waiting to connect with Food for Ascension, so when the time is right, we will let her know.
Now on the drive back home to White Sage Landing, I looked up and saw a BEAUTIFUL perfectly heart-shaped cloud. It was pink in the center, and all around the edges it was transluscent, with all of the rainbow colors around the complete edge of the cloud! It was a rainbow heart. I don't know if you are aware of this, but the name of our big community drum is Rainbow Heart. We watched this glowing sundog-like cloud follow us until Eagle Knoll, then we looked up and it was gone. It was so unlike anything I had ever seen before. Just an incredible gift from the Ancestors.
Around 6:55, we went to go out and do a ceremony in the medicine wheel. I had prepared the wheel the day before with special balances and a blue road healing. Then I had begun to lay out the 28 spokes in the wheel as the Ancestors had asked me to do. I was only able to lay out one direction (East) and then they asked me to stop.
Now yesterday, as we were getting ready to go out to the wheel, the strongest wind came up and was blowing like a regular hurricane. We looked at each other and both knew at once that we were not to go out in the wind this time, but instead to go into the bedroom where the Rainbow Heart drum is being stored. There we went in and sang songs, and did our prayers and intentions. We connected with the others who are in ceremony during these two portal days (tomorrow is also a portal), and did more blue road healing for the whole area and the earth. It was very beautiful and personal.
Then last night, Michael pulled out a movie that he had ordered from Netflix. Little did I know, it would reveal much to me that I had never realized I didn't know. (If that makes sense!) I had just a few hours earlier, told the story of my great great grandmother who was a woman in a band of Lakota people who were running from the Indian agents. These soldiers had orders to round up all the Lakota and put them on a reservation, and get them counted and recorded for what would become the Indian Bureau later.
Crazy Horse, a very wise medicine man and leader of this band, insisted that the Lakota should not allow themselves to be counted and confined on a reservation. He felt that they had a better chance to maintain their way of life if they could keep their freedom. He kept the band on the move for a long time, and avoided capture. But this way of life, running and running, was wearing his people down.
At last he allowed himself to be captured, but just before he did, he sent his band of Lakota across the border into Canada. There he thought they would find freedom from the soldiers and the Indian Bureau. So they all went North, including my great, great grandmother.
But the idea of freedom turned into an experience of survival. The little band of Lakota had to settle quickly because winter was already setting in. They had no homes or possessions, no knowledge of the local game patterns, and were inundated with snow and cold. Some of the women volunteered to be sold to the German trappers in the area in return for money that would buy supplies for the Lakota to survive. One of these young women was my great, great grandmother, who then became the wife of a German trapper.
I know very little about her life-only what my grandfather passed down to me in the stories of my childhood. But I did know that she was never allowed to speak Lakota-only German in the home that they shared. When she had children, they were taught only German and knowledge of the Lakota ancestry was forbidden.
Together this couple had 6 children. Then one day, everything changed. My great, great grandfather took his oldest son out with him for a few days to check the trap-line. When they returned, they found that a band of Blackfoot had come in and killed all the children and the Lakota woman. She had been unable to protect her children, and had died trying to defend them. Only the father and his son were left now.
For some reason, this story came into my consciousness from way back when I was 16 and my grandfather shared it with me. Then, a few hours earlier, I watching a Steven Spielberg movie for television, filmed with the Lakota, in the 1840's. I heard the songs and dances, and this movie stirred something in me. Then I went to sleep, thinking how synchronicity continues to find me.
In my dreams, my great, great grandmother came to me. She showed me what it had felt like to her when she had to leave her people and her way of life forever. She showed me the dreams she had had, and the desires to see her children grow up and dance in peace. None of them were fulfilled.
Then she showed me how all of those dreams had been fulfilled through my life! I saw how I had been able to watch my daughter learn fancy dancing when she was 13 years old, dancing in costume and loving it. My great, great grandmother had been watching.
Then I saw how she had been watching as I got to choose my own life-mate, based on love; as I learned the Lakota ceremonies, and shared them freely with other people; prayed inb the sweat lodge and became initiated into the Lakota pipe ceremony; she was always watching. Now at last, I am about to receive my true pipe into its ceremony. And every dream that she had, is now fulfilled.
In my dream, there was a gold and turquoise colored light that illuminated everything. I felt this ancestor of mine as her energy field moved into mine, and seemingly merged with my own body. When I awakened, I was moved to tears, and have felt very sensitive today, on the edge emotionally. And my heart feels like a ball of fire that has a palpable energy radiating from it. I am just giving myself time and space to integrate what is occurring. It is a greater gift than I could have imagined. So many pieces of the puzzle just fell into place now, and it feels right.
My gratitude goes out to the ancestors that walk beside us and see through our eyes every day. May all of your dreams be fulfilled!
Love,
Kachina
Tuesday, April 27
Another Stage of Manifestation
As I learned (or remembered) and became more present in the process of manifestation, I became very careful about intending or desiring things "for" other people. I had numerous opportunities to see that I could use my clarity to help manifest a desired set of conditions, such as healing or a new career path, sobriety, freedom from a burdensome relationship, etc.
Yet much of the time, the result was not as wonderful or life changing as it had been imagined to be. Sometimes the person desiring the change suddenly turned 180 degrees and went voluntarily back into the same suffering or miserable conditions that had just been removed!!! I became aware of the power of choice and how important it is. Gradually I came to know that we are all super-powerful beings, and most of the time we can not interfere with the life of another as they are acting their chosen script.
Yet recently I am being asked to move beyond this perspective that I had developed over a lifetime of review. Mother Earth is asking me to imagine an evolutionary vision of the world, even as it would positively affect a vast number of people, in great detail. I am seeing that everything must be intended, imagined, and energized before it is experienced in the physical world. (In the indigenous world, this envisioning and energizing process was known as "weaving the world". This role was typically filled by the grandmothers and other women who were not raising families.)
Today I had another opportunity to see how powerful this technique of world weaving is! I will tell this story in the next few days.
Kachina
Yet much of the time, the result was not as wonderful or life changing as it had been imagined to be. Sometimes the person desiring the change suddenly turned 180 degrees and went voluntarily back into the same suffering or miserable conditions that had just been removed!!! I became aware of the power of choice and how important it is. Gradually I came to know that we are all super-powerful beings, and most of the time we can not interfere with the life of another as they are acting their chosen script.
Yet recently I am being asked to move beyond this perspective that I had developed over a lifetime of review. Mother Earth is asking me to imagine an evolutionary vision of the world, even as it would positively affect a vast number of people, in great detail. I am seeing that everything must be intended, imagined, and energized before it is experienced in the physical world. (In the indigenous world, this envisioning and energizing process was known as "weaving the world". This role was typically filled by the grandmothers and other women who were not raising families.)
Today I had another opportunity to see how powerful this technique of world weaving is! I will tell this story in the next few days.
Kachina
Monday, April 26
New Unity
I am just beginning to feel the movement of new form into my physical manifestation. Through this past 90 day process, as it is winding to a close, I am experiencing a new and deeper relationship with the spirits of the land here.
When I go out to do work in the medicine Wheel or up on the hill in the Sacred Spiral, the spirits come in so close and in such great numbers that I am having a different sort of physical sensation connected with this experience. I am feeling so attuned to nature that my thoughts are often now aligning without any conscious intention on my part. It is as if I am an inseparable part of Earth herself. My heart and the heart of Mother Earth are beating together as one.
When I step into the Wheel, to connect with everyone in this 90 day journey, I feel as though we are just a heartbeat away, no matter where they all are on the Earth. I am experiencing the prelude to being able to move through holographic time from one location to another in an instant.
This journey of growing consciousness is wonderful! No matter where it takes me, I would not trade a single moment of it for anything else.
Today I want to express my deepest gratitude for all of you who have walked through this 90 day process together. I honor your courage, your commitment to healing, your will to evolve. It is the evolutionary spirits of those who are willing to step forward into change, to build your foundation upon uncertainty, and to share your personal process with the world, who will become the leaders and teachers of the new world that is emerging.
Thank you for the honor of being present with you through your process.
In Love and Truth,
Kachina
When I go out to do work in the medicine Wheel or up on the hill in the Sacred Spiral, the spirits come in so close and in such great numbers that I am having a different sort of physical sensation connected with this experience. I am feeling so attuned to nature that my thoughts are often now aligning without any conscious intention on my part. It is as if I am an inseparable part of Earth herself. My heart and the heart of Mother Earth are beating together as one.
When I step into the Wheel, to connect with everyone in this 90 day journey, I feel as though we are just a heartbeat away, no matter where they all are on the Earth. I am experiencing the prelude to being able to move through holographic time from one location to another in an instant.
This journey of growing consciousness is wonderful! No matter where it takes me, I would not trade a single moment of it for anything else.
Today I want to express my deepest gratitude for all of you who have walked through this 90 day process together. I honor your courage, your commitment to healing, your will to evolve. It is the evolutionary spirits of those who are willing to step forward into change, to build your foundation upon uncertainty, and to share your personal process with the world, who will become the leaders and teachers of the new world that is emerging.
Thank you for the honor of being present with you through your process.
In Love and Truth,
Kachina
Shoulders to love.
The potential in consciousness and the magic of awareness and intention has yet again blow my socks off!
In my last blog I shared my experience with my completely indulgent weekend of self-love, forgiveness and heart opening. Today, I am honoring the changes in my physical body that have occurred no doubt as a result of all the release, forgiveness and self-acceptance and the clearing on the emotional and energetic plane.
I woke up this morning and was in awe of the placement of my shoulders. Usually quite concave and full of tension as thick and hard as concrete, this morning they sat on my body perfectly straight and aligned and are as light and loose as air, with no effort on my part to hold them there! It is quite literally tripping me out, it seems way to impossible to be real! Even sitting here looking at them I'm having a hard time believing what I am seeing!?
In Traditional Chinese Medicine when a persons shoulders curve inward it is a sign of heart protection and given that that is exactly what I spent my weekend focused on it is no wonder that, in addition to the emotional and energetic releases, that my physical pattern would let go as well!
I can't help but be amazed, befuddled to my core, seriously socks blown so far off I don't eve know where they've landed! It amazes me that a life time of muscle patterns and holding can literally be released in an instant if we are able and willing to identify the underlying emotional cause and let that go. Then it seems there is no effort necessary in releasing the physical pattern because it is truly in direct correlation to the emotional trauma, a coping mechanism if you will. At least this is my personal experiences with it in this moment.
This is also amazing to me because over the last 3 years I have spent many hours and dollars invested in this very thing, getting my shoulder to release.
For structural reasons but also for tension release.
I got 7 rolfing sessions, several massages, have implemented a daily yoga and pilates regimen for structural alignment, tai qi and qi gong in addition to the intention setting and asking my shoulder to let go...and though I am sure all of it helped and contributed to some degree I was majorly focused on the physical symptom and never thought to go straight to the source, my emotional body, specifically my heart and all its infinite wisdom and love.
With all the changes that have occurred in the last 4 days I am in such an euphoric state of gratitude, love, optimism and awe. Feeling so deeply blessed and overwhelmed with joy. Coming more fully into my personal power and not just knowing but now having a glimpse of a deeper understanding of just how powerful we all are and knowing that everything we need is really and truly within each of us, I get it, I totally get it!
What a gift it is to live and learn this journey. Sending my giant bubble of love and pink radiant light to each and every one of you! I am so in love with you all!
Aho.
In my last blog I shared my experience with my completely indulgent weekend of self-love, forgiveness and heart opening. Today, I am honoring the changes in my physical body that have occurred no doubt as a result of all the release, forgiveness and self-acceptance and the clearing on the emotional and energetic plane.
I woke up this morning and was in awe of the placement of my shoulders. Usually quite concave and full of tension as thick and hard as concrete, this morning they sat on my body perfectly straight and aligned and are as light and loose as air, with no effort on my part to hold them there! It is quite literally tripping me out, it seems way to impossible to be real! Even sitting here looking at them I'm having a hard time believing what I am seeing!?
In Traditional Chinese Medicine when a persons shoulders curve inward it is a sign of heart protection and given that that is exactly what I spent my weekend focused on it is no wonder that, in addition to the emotional and energetic releases, that my physical pattern would let go as well!
I can't help but be amazed, befuddled to my core, seriously socks blown so far off I don't eve know where they've landed! It amazes me that a life time of muscle patterns and holding can literally be released in an instant if we are able and willing to identify the underlying emotional cause and let that go. Then it seems there is no effort necessary in releasing the physical pattern because it is truly in direct correlation to the emotional trauma, a coping mechanism if you will. At least this is my personal experiences with it in this moment.
This is also amazing to me because over the last 3 years I have spent many hours and dollars invested in this very thing, getting my shoulder to release.
For structural reasons but also for tension release.
I got 7 rolfing sessions, several massages, have implemented a daily yoga and pilates regimen for structural alignment, tai qi and qi gong in addition to the intention setting and asking my shoulder to let go...and though I am sure all of it helped and contributed to some degree I was majorly focused on the physical symptom and never thought to go straight to the source, my emotional body, specifically my heart and all its infinite wisdom and love.
With all the changes that have occurred in the last 4 days I am in such an euphoric state of gratitude, love, optimism and awe. Feeling so deeply blessed and overwhelmed with joy. Coming more fully into my personal power and not just knowing but now having a glimpse of a deeper understanding of just how powerful we all are and knowing that everything we need is really and truly within each of us, I get it, I totally get it!
What a gift it is to live and learn this journey. Sending my giant bubble of love and pink radiant light to each and every one of you! I am so in love with you all!
Aho.
Sunday, April 25
A truth has been spoken
This past weekend I was blessed to attend a workshop called, Mending your Heart.
It entailed four classes three hours each with two hours of yoga asana practice and one hour of Native American ceremony including; talking circle, exercises in communication, forgiveness, connecting, listening and speaking from your true heart, chanting and singing and a purification water ceremony, it was beyond beautiful and transformational on all levels!
I have been asking the universe for sometime now for assistance on how to feel and live through my heart and this weekend I got my answer.
I was able to identify where my stagnation's were, feel what they did to my body and energy field and how I allowed them to dictate my life in a non-beneficial overly protective way.
Michael Sharp always says "what one man can do" and this weekend that took on a whole new meaning for me. What I can do is forgive. I can courageously go into those scary places that wanted so desperately to be shielded and forgotten and gently remove the armor and lay my hands upon my wounds and say "I love you" to assure these old hurts and pains that its okay, you are completely safe and accepted, I honor all you have done to assist me the best way you knew how to at the time but now it is time to let go.
What one man can do, forgive. Break the pattern of protection that no longer serves and heal the past, to do this for yourself is to do it for others and that powerful ripple is bigger than any anger and pain. I deeply deeply feel and have experienced the power of love. I forgive myself, I let my heart out of its iron box and I feel the power of this act of freedom, this act of merging my heart with the rest of my being and I can see all the pain in the world coming into the presence of this love and being washed away in an instant!
In 3 three short days I have come to know the answer to every question I ever asked, I have come to understand and accept every piece of my individual puzzle and I have come to a place now where I can look at myself in the mirror and say "I love you, every last bit of you, you are beautiful, powerful and magnificent!"
And now feeling so deeply this love and respect for myself I can go out and bathe others is love and hold that space for them to come into their own self-love, but I know and believe that if I am there then we are all already there and there is nothing left to fear!
With gratitude from the farthest part of the universe to the deepest core of the earth I honor each and everyone one of you.
Aho, a truth has been spoken.
It entailed four classes three hours each with two hours of yoga asana practice and one hour of Native American ceremony including; talking circle, exercises in communication, forgiveness, connecting, listening and speaking from your true heart, chanting and singing and a purification water ceremony, it was beyond beautiful and transformational on all levels!
I have been asking the universe for sometime now for assistance on how to feel and live through my heart and this weekend I got my answer.
I was able to identify where my stagnation's were, feel what they did to my body and energy field and how I allowed them to dictate my life in a non-beneficial overly protective way.
Michael Sharp always says "what one man can do" and this weekend that took on a whole new meaning for me. What I can do is forgive. I can courageously go into those scary places that wanted so desperately to be shielded and forgotten and gently remove the armor and lay my hands upon my wounds and say "I love you" to assure these old hurts and pains that its okay, you are completely safe and accepted, I honor all you have done to assist me the best way you knew how to at the time but now it is time to let go.
What one man can do, forgive. Break the pattern of protection that no longer serves and heal the past, to do this for yourself is to do it for others and that powerful ripple is bigger than any anger and pain. I deeply deeply feel and have experienced the power of love. I forgive myself, I let my heart out of its iron box and I feel the power of this act of freedom, this act of merging my heart with the rest of my being and I can see all the pain in the world coming into the presence of this love and being washed away in an instant!
In 3 three short days I have come to know the answer to every question I ever asked, I have come to understand and accept every piece of my individual puzzle and I have come to a place now where I can look at myself in the mirror and say "I love you, every last bit of you, you are beautiful, powerful and magnificent!"
And now feeling so deeply this love and respect for myself I can go out and bathe others is love and hold that space for them to come into their own self-love, but I know and believe that if I am there then we are all already there and there is nothing left to fear!
With gratitude from the farthest part of the universe to the deepest core of the earth I honor each and everyone one of you.
Aho, a truth has been spoken.
A Request for All Journeyers
Here we are in the North, the stage of completion. In this stage, we have a beautiful opportunity that I am going to extend to each of you. The north , in many Native American traditions, represents connection with the Ancestors, and with all of life.
Some of you who took the 90 Day Program with a the last group in Anchorage Alaska, will remember that we did something at the very end. We opened the sacred talking circle and brought together two different groups of people who had completed this journey, for one night of sharing.
We can make the most profound transformation in our lives, yet if we do not bring that transformation forth into the world and SHARE IT, have we really accomplished anything?
So... I am inviting each one of you to share this website with at least one person that you know or love. Open your sacred space and allow selected individuals to share the journey you have just made, by inviting them to read about it here in these pages.
It does not matter whether they act on it, understand it, etc. What matters is that YOU open your gifts and sharing to the world. Something magical can happen!
Love and light,
Kachina
Some of you who took the 90 Day Program with a the last group in Anchorage Alaska, will remember that we did something at the very end. We opened the sacred talking circle and brought together two different groups of people who had completed this journey, for one night of sharing.
We can make the most profound transformation in our lives, yet if we do not bring that transformation forth into the world and SHARE IT, have we really accomplished anything?
So... I am inviting each one of you to share this website with at least one person that you know or love. Open your sacred space and allow selected individuals to share the journey you have just made, by inviting them to read about it here in these pages.
It does not matter whether they act on it, understand it, etc. What matters is that YOU open your gifts and sharing to the world. Something magical can happen!
Love and light,
Kachina
Connection and the workbook
Things that stand out:
Forgiveness:
I am sure over the years I have been told that forgiving myself will help me heal, I couldn't hear it. I spent many years working through trauma and doing different levels of forgiveness outside myself. This lead to more work and lingering issues that would not resolve. Forgiving myself changed and dissolved all outward judgement and grudges. Today I am grateful for hearing this information and allowing it to heal me.
Non attachment:
For the first time I am in the space of non attachment, which is very different than what I "thought" it meant. I have a son who is 16 and making some choices that would normally have me in reaction and control. Instead I found myself in non attachment, which has resulted in a very different outcome than anything I've experienced before. I didn't feed worry, fear and chaos but remained grounded and connected. This made space for responsibility to find it's way to my son without room for blame. Interesting. I still felt an abundance of love flowing without the rest of the garbage that usually attaches to such circumstances. WooHoo. The end result, I remained solid, grounded and connected, he is left with all that he created to see and learn from. A gift!
Name:
I skipped the name page last 90 day class and it resided inside me for the next two years. This go around, I am moving on through and have a whole new perspective on the rest of the pages. Honoring my true self with something as simple as a name has brought an abundance of growth that I am incredibly grateful for.
This 90 day feels as though it's the first time, as every page is new and evolved. I feel like I am me and I hardly remember the path to getting here. Details used to be my strong point. I love that I don't have to question because trust resonates within my being.
I am so grateful for this gift of transformation and for all who are connected in this group and sharing. Thank you is not enough to express my gratitude for Kathryn and Michael in the gifts they share and the humble example they show through their journey, Thank you from my heart, Michelle
I wanted to add; today I was fortunate to join a group,"The Tree People". I received some information from the trees about how they can assist in Blue Road Healing and being a vessel to the light. I saw a vision of trees everywhere radiating light and opening with a staircase inside. Entities or beings were guided into the tree staircase and moved up through the tree trunk, out the top of the tree and taken into the universe on the light coming from the tree. That a mass healing will be coming and a call to the trees will assist with this process. That in places where we are not available on the land to assist, the trees can. They are all connected and communicate.
Forgiveness:
I am sure over the years I have been told that forgiving myself will help me heal, I couldn't hear it. I spent many years working through trauma and doing different levels of forgiveness outside myself. This lead to more work and lingering issues that would not resolve. Forgiving myself changed and dissolved all outward judgement and grudges. Today I am grateful for hearing this information and allowing it to heal me.
Non attachment:
For the first time I am in the space of non attachment, which is very different than what I "thought" it meant. I have a son who is 16 and making some choices that would normally have me in reaction and control. Instead I found myself in non attachment, which has resulted in a very different outcome than anything I've experienced before. I didn't feed worry, fear and chaos but remained grounded and connected. This made space for responsibility to find it's way to my son without room for blame. Interesting. I still felt an abundance of love flowing without the rest of the garbage that usually attaches to such circumstances. WooHoo. The end result, I remained solid, grounded and connected, he is left with all that he created to see and learn from. A gift!
Name:
I skipped the name page last 90 day class and it resided inside me for the next two years. This go around, I am moving on through and have a whole new perspective on the rest of the pages. Honoring my true self with something as simple as a name has brought an abundance of growth that I am incredibly grateful for.
This 90 day feels as though it's the first time, as every page is new and evolved. I feel like I am me and I hardly remember the path to getting here. Details used to be my strong point. I love that I don't have to question because trust resonates within my being.
I am so grateful for this gift of transformation and for all who are connected in this group and sharing. Thank you is not enough to express my gratitude for Kathryn and Michael in the gifts they share and the humble example they show through their journey, Thank you from my heart, Michelle
I wanted to add; today I was fortunate to join a group,"The Tree People". I received some information from the trees about how they can assist in Blue Road Healing and being a vessel to the light. I saw a vision of trees everywhere radiating light and opening with a staircase inside. Entities or beings were guided into the tree staircase and moved up through the tree trunk, out the top of the tree and taken into the universe on the light coming from the tree. That a mass healing will be coming and a call to the trees will assist with this process. That in places where we are not available on the land to assist, the trees can. They are all connected and communicate.
Saturday, April 24
Gratitude for the Regeneration of the Land of the Anasazi
Today, I want to express my gratitude for the regeneration of this beautiful and sacred land around us. Yesterday as we drove home from town, a neighbor flagged us down and we stopped to talk. The wind was still gusting and intermittent rain wa blowing through.
He acknowledged the amazing change that has come to the sage brush bushes in our immediate area. I have been watching them for a couple of weeks now as their leaves have increased, grown long and feathery and bright green! These are the same bushes that were once dry and silvery-difficult to tell the difference between what was alive and what was dead. Apparently Blew Thunder and I are not the only ones who are seeing the changes!
The most beautiful Pleiadean cloud ships were here this morning in a pure blue sky. I have felt the Star Being Ancestors moving closer again as we came into the North direction. They remind me how very much we are loved, each and every one of us.
Kachina
He acknowledged the amazing change that has come to the sage brush bushes in our immediate area. I have been watching them for a couple of weeks now as their leaves have increased, grown long and feathery and bright green! These are the same bushes that were once dry and silvery-difficult to tell the difference between what was alive and what was dead. Apparently Blew Thunder and I are not the only ones who are seeing the changes!
The most beautiful Pleiadean cloud ships were here this morning in a pure blue sky. I have felt the Star Being Ancestors moving closer again as we came into the North direction. They remind me how very much we are loved, each and every one of us.
Kachina
Friday, April 23
Gratitude Equals Completion
A long time ago, some elders in the sweat lodge helped me learn about the wisdom of the North. They told me that gratitude was a sensation that you feel in your body. It is a frequency that creates a certain vibration in our energy fields and in the cells of our bodies.
Up until this time, I had confused the true energy of gratitude with the words of gratitude. In my birth family, children were taught to say "Thank You" in any circumstance where someone had done something or given something for them. There was no connection to what one was truly feeling in that moment, only a required response. This behavior had been passed down for at least a few generations, for the adults of the family had no connection to the feeling of gratitude either, that I could see.
The elders encouraged me to sit with gratitude for days on end. Every time I caught my mind thinking (about anything), I would focus on my mantra-"Thank you, thank-you". I carried this forward into life, going about my daily routines and all the while running a constant undertone of "Thank-you, thank-you". And then it happened.
I woke up one morning and I had broken through the ceiling! I could feel my heart exploding with gratitude! It felt light, and teary, and ecstatic, and peaceful, an amazing jumble of sensation and energy. From that moment on I knew what gratitude was, I knew how to reach the frequency of gratitude, and how to generate it throughout my cells. Today, I thank the elders from the bottom of my heart for that one sweat lodge in which they talked about gratitude and opened the way for me to own it.
For every kharmic thread we weave through our lifetime, all must be fulfilled. EVERY DREAM, every desire, every thought, every incomplete, every vision. These must be fulfilled, at one time or another, in one lifetime or another, by someone, as life has no brakes. Unless a generated energy is recognized and the contract changed, it will come to be in some form or another. Fulfillment is the last stage of manifestation, the final turning of a giant wheel, before it begins another round! In gratitude, all kharma is dissolved, and we awaken to create from a conscious space.
My prayer today is this: May you find gratitude in your heart. May you experience the beauty of fulfillment and conscious co-creation. May you walk all your life in beauty. Aho.
Kachina
Up until this time, I had confused the true energy of gratitude with the words of gratitude. In my birth family, children were taught to say "Thank You" in any circumstance where someone had done something or given something for them. There was no connection to what one was truly feeling in that moment, only a required response. This behavior had been passed down for at least a few generations, for the adults of the family had no connection to the feeling of gratitude either, that I could see.
The elders encouraged me to sit with gratitude for days on end. Every time I caught my mind thinking (about anything), I would focus on my mantra-"Thank you, thank-you". I carried this forward into life, going about my daily routines and all the while running a constant undertone of "Thank-you, thank-you". And then it happened.
I woke up one morning and I had broken through the ceiling! I could feel my heart exploding with gratitude! It felt light, and teary, and ecstatic, and peaceful, an amazing jumble of sensation and energy. From that moment on I knew what gratitude was, I knew how to reach the frequency of gratitude, and how to generate it throughout my cells. Today, I thank the elders from the bottom of my heart for that one sweat lodge in which they talked about gratitude and opened the way for me to own it.
For every kharmic thread we weave through our lifetime, all must be fulfilled. EVERY DREAM, every desire, every thought, every incomplete, every vision. These must be fulfilled, at one time or another, in one lifetime or another, by someone, as life has no brakes. Unless a generated energy is recognized and the contract changed, it will come to be in some form or another. Fulfillment is the last stage of manifestation, the final turning of a giant wheel, before it begins another round! In gratitude, all kharma is dissolved, and we awaken to create from a conscious space.
My prayer today is this: May you find gratitude in your heart. May you experience the beauty of fulfillment and conscious co-creation. May you walk all your life in beauty. Aho.
Kachina
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