Courage and Trust Where For Art Thou?

I was thinking about the Olympic downhill ski jump the other day. They take some serious air without fear but in totally trust -- no poles. They do it over and over again. That is their life. I feel like I have jetisoned out before with my mediumship but now I’m at the gate again -- wanting to fly but being in fear. I venture out and retreat back to the comfort zone just like they do at the gate. I’m in the rocking chair motion. My kidneys and I need to talk.

The hula hoop is a good barometer of where I’m at in this moment as it hits my kidneys. Many days I can not make it go beyond a few revolutions. My will is weak at times, and I’m trying hard to find my core to move it as it doesn’t work any other way. How to be in my core all the time hmmmm. I know this has to do with what Kathryn was referring to the “unconsciousness” pattern and her movement classes. Time to get back at it.

I’ve come out of the closet in the public with my eating. I’ll warm up roots on the stove in schools where I sub. I’ve made my own section in the frig where all my healthy oils and food reside. I bought a cast iron skittle, wooden spoons, and glass containers for juices. I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about asking questions about food. I’ve been eating well for a long time with just a few lapses -- longer than ever before and I’m juicing all the time. I even woke up one day and looked in the mirror and saw beauty radiating out -- how did that happen!

I spent 4 days locked in my house cleaning out books on cancer or food for cancer, other books I not longer need or want in my new life, a couple of bookcases, and tons of school material that I just carted off to schools yesterday. I shredded mounds of medical papers on this surgery and that surgery -- this procedure and that procedure. It was a no brainer with the books but I hadn’t thought about my medical records. If I’m carrying the thoughts about cancer in books and medical records in my house space, then it is still in the realm of possibility because it is still in my auric field. Aha! Not no more! The only paperwork I did not shred was my two miscarriages as I need to do deep cell work with it. I’ve cleared other levels but probably not that one. I no longer exist in my past on a conscious level but the past still lingers inside the cells. I need a total constitutional cleansing and hmmm what else?

It seems I needed to do this external cleaning to help with the internal cleaning. I get discouraged but I guess when I look at the past weeks and all I’ve accomplished, I’ve jumped and only hit a few potholes along the way and the wagon wheel can be repaired.

Joni Mist Walker

Dissolving Unconsciousness

For those of us who have chosen to walk a path of increasing consciousness, it is important to bring consciousness in to our everyday lives. It is fairly easy to go up on a mountain top and meditate and have an experience of conscious expansion. It is somewhat more challenging to have the same experience while you are washing the dishes or taking out the garbage!

Here is a quote from Eckhart Tolle's little book, Practicing the Power of Now. I feel it is pertinent to the work we are all doing in the 90 Day process, as well as in our lives. "To stay present in everyday life, it helps to be deeply rooted in yourself; otherwise the mind, which has incredible momentum, will drag you along like a wild river. It means to inhabit your body fully, to always have some of your attention in the inner energy field of your body. To feel your body from within, so to speak. Body awareness keeps you present. It anchors you in the now."

By focusing your attention on the inner energy field of your body, you move awareness from the past/future polarity that is the mind, into the pure awareness of the present. We can always cope with the present moment. What we can not cope with, or change, or prepare for, or keep from happening, is the future. The answer, the strength, the courage, the power, the resource, the right action-it will always be there, in the moment when we need it. Not before, and not after. Everything else is the mind's way of masturbation.

A great practice to increase your presence is to habitually ask yourself, "What is going on inside me at this moment? Am I at ease in this moment? Where do I feel this moment in my physical body?" Instantly the attention is drawn from the mind into the body, from the polarity of past/future into the now.

You may begin to observe all the ways in which the mind will attempt to resist this level of consciousness. It comes as judgement, discontent, and attempts toward mental projection out of the now. An emotional feeling may surface of boredom, unease, nervousness, or tension. These are both aspects of the mind in its habitual resistance mode. If you continue to hold your attention on the inner world, you will gradually gain power in the heart consciousness-in the present moment.

When we become fully present in the moment, awake in every situation in which we find ourselves, then our actions become very powerful. Our intentions become aligned with the universe as it truly is, not as we think it is or should be. From this space of true awareness, any actions that are generated contain the power of alignment and the intuitive awareness that comes from being in the present. They are not generated from reference points of the past or attachments to an imagined future.

This is the point where love, power, and consciousness come together. This is ascension.

Kachina

Polarity and Feeding..HMMMM

My days are interesting and kind of all over the place. One minute I am deeply connected and the next, just going through the motions. I focus on being present, having patience and purpose but I am pulled in the opposite direction often. I see that Polarity is all around me in thinking and functioning.

I am in limbo and moving forward. I have outgrown my life in a way that makes me feel edgy and bored to be in it. I know that sounds strange given all of the growth but the day to day stuff, well, I am over it. I want to use the time in between the “half to” stuff for more creation yet I find myself too blah about the “half to” stuff to move.

I am standing on a cliff ready to take flight, excited and in awe, like seeing a sunset for the first time or walking in warm sand barefoot. Then responsibility slaps me in the face and says, “don’t forget about”, I stop listening and do. Doing with my body and flying in spirit, when smack I hit the ground in a pile of laundry with the alarm clock going off. I say I just want five more minutes but really I want a lifetime.

I have told the story of the two wolves to several people recently, in response to “what is it you are feeding”. It’s only fitting that it’s exactly what I am looking at. I thought I would share as a reminder to myself.

I am humbly grateful, Michelle

What am I feeding today?

The Story of Two Wolves
A Grandfather from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his grandson.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves."

"One wolf is evil and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, self-pity, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, selfishness and arrogance."

"The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, justice, fairness, empathy, generosity, true, compassion, gratitude, and deep VISION."

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other human as well."

The grandson paused in deep reflection because of what his grandfather had just said.
Then he finally asked: "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The elder Cherokee replied, "The wolf that you feed."