I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was visiting Michael and Kathryn at white sage. They had invited me down to help them with some projects that needed to get done. I was showed two cars and my job was to paint them, one white and one black.
Michael gave me a quick preview without explaining anything then handed me the paint brush and left. I stood there looking at the white car that I was to paint. I had never painted a car before? I had no idea how to even begin painting a car? Then crept in what if I mess up? What if it looks worse after I am finished then it does right now? I became so consumed with questions, doubts and potential failures that I never even began painting the car. I was paralyzed by my fear of "What if"
I decided I couldn't do it and went looking for Michael and Kathryn to tell them I didn't know how and that I couldn't do it. They were out in the garden raking. Kathryn stood there just beautiful radiant light, I confess my failure Michael and in the gentlest of ways he put his hand on my shoulder looked me straight in the eyes and said "If you knew it all, what would be the point?" I woke up.
This is likely an obvious lesson and one I'm sure we've all come up against at one point or another. The power of the dream illustrated so perfectly for me in this moment where my specific block is in regards to why I haven't begun working. I am at that pivotal phase where I'm being asked to take the next step and leave my comfort zone. Where I am being asked to value myself and what I have to offer. It's scary!
I couldn't finish the South in the journal. I flew thought the East and eagerly anticipated the West. I skipped the last 6 pages of the South, I couldn't do it it was like walking through molasses. It was such a struggle to even attempt to motivated myself to open the journal at all during the South and I didn't want to quite so I skipped it?
I'm at that place where I get to decide which way to go and trust the guidance and inner knowing within myself. A perfect polarity of uncomfortable and exhilarating.
I began reading Kathryn's book and how the food for ascension came to be. It was a step by step evolution over 17 years before it became what it is today. Kathryn didn't know the whole picture from the beginning. They worked with people and themselves and observed through trial and error what worked and what didn't but always learning and growing along the way. There are phases and if you're lucky you learn something new everyday and grow more with each experience. That is the beauty of feeling fear and discomfort, it is a clear sign, as Michael once told me, "that you are doing something right."
I am scared, I still recognize that I doubt myself or it's just easier to feel doubt then confidence, I have no idea what I am walking into or how I will create what I desire from where I am in this moment. How I will become self-sufficient and remain passionate at the same time. I don't know? I just simply don't know and it feels a little like drowning because I can't go back or stay where I am and I don't yet have anything to grab onto.
I want to move forward. I am ready to take that step out of my comfort zone and onto the unknown where possibility, failure, experience, learning, fear, passion, discomfort and wide open spaces await me. And I wanted you all to bear witness to my intention of not feeling ready but still being willing to take that step anyway.
Thank you all for your support and listing. I am so grateful for this group and am so hopeful for all of us realizing our dreams come true.
Love, gratitude and laughter
Wednesday, March 31
Ceremony and Synchronicity
I apologize for missing the Blog yesterday. So much is happening around here I am feeling like I am just holding on for the ride! One of my original affirmations was "I let go of control and everything moves into perfect alignment".
After some time, it became "I am ready". So now I get to experience the "speeding through the universe" feeling that caused me to choose to hold on in the first place, like everything is moving way too fast. (Too fast for what, I wonder?) I am very happy with all the support I am experiencing as I let go on a new level. It is not comfortable, yet the feeling in my cellular body is one of ecstatic pure energy.
On the full moon, Blew Thunder and I went out at night and danced our intentions to the four directions. Just before we did it, a Pleiadian cloud ship appeared to the southeast and hovered there all night (other clouds came and went, but this one stayed in the same location). Several appeared again yesterday, and this morning they were still there. They are letting us know just how much support is available to us! Just how real the planetary ascension is.
Though many areas of focus are demanding attention in the physical world at this time, I am still being asked to up my level of commitment to the Nature spirits of the area in assistance of the planetary ascension process. On Monday morning, we walked the whole 83 acres that our neighbors are selling, and placed geo-resonators at two locations with intentions for regeneration and transmutation of non-beneficial energy. Then yesterday the spirits invited us to a spot on the land where a mass of tangled old dead trees lay. We cleaned it up, and received a week's worth of firewood as well.
So much has changed in our area, several days ago we talked to a neighbor who wants to organize a clean-up day for everyone in White Sage, to get together and clean up the trash on the road. It sounds like nothing, but these are neighbors who have previously wanted to kill each other instead of look at each other! Now they are planning events together!!! If I did not experience this kind of transformation I would never have known just how much the earth grid energies effect human consciousness.
With this kind of intentional co-creation, we have the tools to manifest a whole new reality on Mother Earth.
Blessings to all,
Kachina
After some time, it became "I am ready". So now I get to experience the "speeding through the universe" feeling that caused me to choose to hold on in the first place, like everything is moving way too fast. (Too fast for what, I wonder?) I am very happy with all the support I am experiencing as I let go on a new level. It is not comfortable, yet the feeling in my cellular body is one of ecstatic pure energy.
On the full moon, Blew Thunder and I went out at night and danced our intentions to the four directions. Just before we did it, a Pleiadian cloud ship appeared to the southeast and hovered there all night (other clouds came and went, but this one stayed in the same location). Several appeared again yesterday, and this morning they were still there. They are letting us know just how much support is available to us! Just how real the planetary ascension is.
Though many areas of focus are demanding attention in the physical world at this time, I am still being asked to up my level of commitment to the Nature spirits of the area in assistance of the planetary ascension process. On Monday morning, we walked the whole 83 acres that our neighbors are selling, and placed geo-resonators at two locations with intentions for regeneration and transmutation of non-beneficial energy. Then yesterday the spirits invited us to a spot on the land where a mass of tangled old dead trees lay. We cleaned it up, and received a week's worth of firewood as well.
So much has changed in our area, several days ago we talked to a neighbor who wants to organize a clean-up day for everyone in White Sage, to get together and clean up the trash on the road. It sounds like nothing, but these are neighbors who have previously wanted to kill each other instead of look at each other! Now they are planning events together!!! If I did not experience this kind of transformation I would never have known just how much the earth grid energies effect human consciousness.
With this kind of intentional co-creation, we have the tools to manifest a whole new reality on Mother Earth.
Blessings to all,
Kachina
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