This morning I found myself in a body without a soul.

I was driving my car to work after having just dropped the kids off at school. I could see the road moving beneath and the buildings passing by; I could hear the engine humming and feel the wheel in my hands; but I had this terrifying sense that something was missing – that I was missing. Looking around (turning my head left and right) I found myself wondering with perfect clarity, “Where’s my spirit? Where is the 5^th dimensional me in this moment, ‘cause I don’t feel it.”

It was sort of like the flip-side of an out-of-body experience…instead of being in the midst of an astral flight, touring around with a light-thread connecting my soul to my body, I was immovably stuck in my human form with seemingly no connection to the infinite. Deep separation. Seriously scary shit – a zombified me barreling down the boulevard at 8am on a Friday morning, not a sip of caffeine in sight. :-)

Body shaking and eyes welling up, I pulled over into the first parking lot I saw, which was a post office (a detail that is significant if one considers all this as symbols in a waking dream). Before I could park in a proper spot, there in front of me was a young moose, that lovely messenger of forgiveness and self-esteem. I turned off my car, rolled down my window and began connecting with the moose, sensing it wanted to offer me something. Breathing in sync with the animal as it stood a few yards away, I started to feel myself become this moose. The weight of its head on my shoulders, the taste the willow in my mouth, the strength of those legs that walked the wild since birth. For a minute or two, I was this moose, sensing no danger in the comforts of the city, harboring no anger for the wolves that killed my kin, craving no answers, desiring to achieve no dreams. In this sacred experience, I just was.

So, where was my soul 10 minutes before? How can the infinite play hide and seek? Well, I suppose it was vacationing in the body of that moose, taking a bit of rest from the ceaseless chatter of my mind, and most importantly, getting a recharge on those qualities I needed most at that moment – self-esteem and self-forgiveness.

Aho. Mi ta kwi asen.

The Rest of the Story

The next day was quiet and a more peaceful feeling came in and surrounded James' family. I continued to send prayers for healing and forgiveness to all of them and went about my day. Once again, after I had gone to sleep at night, I awakened abruptly at 3:33 am. I could feel the heaviness of distraught emotion, and I knew James was in my room again.

This continued for over 10 nights. Every time I, awakened exactly at 3:33, there was James, badgering me to call his family, asking me why this had happened to him, demanding answers. I continued to hold a healing space for him. I called in his ancestors to come to him and help him.

Over the next 10 days, I called on the Archangel Michael and did some Blue Road healings for him and his family, and the rescuers. I connected with the spirits of the cave, who were previously unheard and unacknowledged, and who were trying to communicate to the humans who came there for recreation that they were entering an extremely sacred place in the earth.

The spirits of the cave were unhappy that this had occurred, and afraid of human reaction. Of course, plans were already being made to seal off the cave with James body inside. I did a ceremony, connecting through the earth grid with the spirits of the cave, and asking them how I could assist. I held the intention that the highest level of harmony would be served through this situation, in benefit of all life.

Then I reminded them that there was an agreement in place here that was designed to be of service. Then the spirits of the cave told me that they would be honored if the cave became a shrine, with James acting as the human guardian of this space. They told me that the cave was a sound chamber that amplifies and directs high vibrational frequencies through the earth grids. It is a major energetic center for the local area, and could actually function better without constant human activity going on inside.

James agreed to act as the guardian of the place. He was beginning to accept where he was and ready to move into new roles.

Every night, he still came at 3:33 am. No longer did he bring the heaviness of unprocessed emotion with him, but he still came. I asked him what he was coming back for, and he did not answer. He just kept showing up, and I started to get over it and say hi, then just go back to sleep. I did continue to wonder what was left undone.

One night, nearly a month after James had passed, I awakened as usual at 3:33. This time, James was not alone. I saw that he was with Liz's brother, who had volunteered to work through our medicine wheel to assist in healing for the local area, and the planetary ascension process. The two of them stood next to my bed and stared at me.

Finally I asked them why they were here, and if there was something I could do. They both told me to look at the area surrounding the medicine wheel. There I saw hundreds of souls, waiting. I realized then that something was going on of which I was unaware.

The two men told me that there were many many souls leaving the planet at that time, and all the medicine wheels and vortices would be very busy over the next 14 days. I immediately did a blue road healing ceremony, then offered to do one every day for the next few days. They said they would come to me anytime it was getting backed up and ask for assistance. I thanked them both.

Then James told me he had decided to work through this wheel on an ongoing basis. I welcomed him and thanked him, and he left with Liz's brother, who I could see was really helping him to adjust to his new reality. I was amazed at how different he felt.

Since that time, they have only appeared to me once. It was to show me that I needed to connect with another cave inside Mt. Timpanogos, in northern Utah. They guided me to set up a mer-ka-ba inside the cave, around a heart-shaped rock called "the heart of timpanogos", and to open a grid line to that exact point. I made prayers of gratitude for the spirits of this sacred place on Mother Earth, and did what they asked.

I saw them working once after the earthquake in Haiti. I was amazed at how many souls came to this portal to exit, since I know there are many portals between here and there. But I am learning that it is not geographical distance that makes a difference to the souls passing, it is quality of frequency. Certain frequencies attract certain souls, and it happens holographically. I am ever continuing to be amazed at our reality.

Now James is a powerful presence here. I can see and feel his work as he assists others, especially those who die unexpectedly. I honor him, and give thanks for his presence and healing intentions.

Kachina