Another day another billions of thoughts flowing through my mind. The "theme" of the day is back to the familiar and always stressful topic "what am I going to do with my life?" .....I hate that question! I hate it coming from my self or anyone. How the hell am I supposed to know!? It's like an avalanche. It comes at you at an uncontrollable speed building and building intense negativity and angziety than hits you right in the gut and takes the air right out of you. Than, the panic sets in. " F*** ME! what AM I going to do with my life?" I understand I'm only 23 years old, but "you have to have a plan, or at least an idea." pssst, not me! That is not going to be MY reality. I don't want a plan. what fun can a plan be? that ruins everything, I want to go with the flow and have it all unravel right before my eyes, never knowing what's going to happen next but excited to know that if I just trust that it will all work out. Besides, I have my whole life to figure that out....right? :)
In all reality, my problem isn't WHAT I am going to do what my life, it's is HOW do I organize all that I want to do in a way that will bring in enough money/happiness to support me and my dog Murphy comfortably?
I know what it is I want to do, I have always know, ever since I was little, I know EXACTLY what I want (while holding no attachment, hehe) I just don't know how to create it.
I want to do exactly what my sister Earth Song does at Diamond Heart but I want to do it with animals. I want to do animal communication, I want to make flower essences, tinctures, 'animalized' (personalized) oil blends, massage , the whole works for animals BUT I am also just as passionate about art. I LOVE to create things, LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!, but it is soooo time consuming....but I love it, so much. I love to knit, I can do it all day....in fact I have been know to do it all day for many days, but, I want to learn to Sew, crochet, quilt, cook, play the guitar, piano and harp, cross stitch, embroider, wood carving, beading..EVERYTHING nothing gets me more excited than knowing that each new year I get to check one of those off my list of "things to learn"....... except for animals. *50/50*
So, the questions is, HOW do I turn this into a living and HOW do I find balance in learning everything I want to learn for my animal work and my art work??...... I can feel the stress building. today, that is where I stand. but I am happy and still excited for the journey.
Also, I just wanted to say for the record that my Dad got a little 10 week old bright blue eyed australian Shepperd puppy for his farm that I have fallen head over heals for.... I have been taking her on walks everyday and cooking for her and we have really bonded. Now I feel like I want her to be MY baby and "why cant he get his own?" haha, but I can love her from a distance, I know they have some major work to do together....but she sure is pretty. <3
Saturday, February 20
Ode to Stagnation.
Are we as great as we're made to believe?
Is there truth behind the wisdom we seek?
I'm stuck somewhere neither here nor there..
Afraid to move forward, paralyzed with fear.
Can't get off, the rides only begun...
Can't speed it up, that would be no fun.
Woe is me...what am I to do
I've lost that feeling I've grown so accustom to.
The one that would guide me so I'd know what to do.
I can't stay in this place of stagnation for long.
I call for assistance please help to guide me on.
Take me home to where my heart resides
To where that inner knowing deeply lies
That place they say holds the answers we seek
Oh look I can see it, may I have another peek
To my horror and surprise, you'll never guess what was inside
A revelation and discounted lie.
Not only are we as great as we're lead to believe
But, the magic, beauty and power we seek
Is simply no further then a glimpse in the mirror
At last, I sigh, I can let go of my fear
I've had the strength and ability all along
Wishing this revelation hadn't taken me so long
But if there is one thing I've learned from this long twisted journey
Its never to doubt those who are there to encourage me!
Is there truth behind the wisdom we seek?
I'm stuck somewhere neither here nor there..
Afraid to move forward, paralyzed with fear.
Can't get off, the rides only begun...
Can't speed it up, that would be no fun.
Woe is me...what am I to do
I've lost that feeling I've grown so accustom to.
The one that would guide me so I'd know what to do.
I can't stay in this place of stagnation for long.
I call for assistance please help to guide me on.
Take me home to where my heart resides
To where that inner knowing deeply lies
That place they say holds the answers we seek
Oh look I can see it, may I have another peek
To my horror and surprise, you'll never guess what was inside
A revelation and discounted lie.
Not only are we as great as we're lead to believe
But, the magic, beauty and power we seek
Is simply no further then a glimpse in the mirror
At last, I sigh, I can let go of my fear
I've had the strength and ability all along
Wishing this revelation hadn't taken me so long
But if there is one thing I've learned from this long twisted journey
Its never to doubt those who are there to encourage me!
Hey ya!
Funny thing, writing the words knowing they could be viewed by anyone makes me self conscious, sounds like a Prosperity Palace pattern! ; ) So, here I am moving through that pattern. This is my third time around and this time I feel in total alignment, it is much easier than before and I believe this is why my body is detoxing so quickly, I had a headache on Day 2 which has lasted pretty much all week. Thankfully it has mostly lifted. It made going to work very challenging this week, I did what I could each day to honor myself, either taking leave in the afternoon, getting a massage, accupuncture and getting together with some friends who like to contemplate Astrology and meditate, and doing my own favorite healing meditations. What a relief that has brought. I can feel the layers lifting. I feel like I have somehow lost myself, but where did I go?
prana tube energies
Greetings Adventurers,
In the clearing of my prosperity channel my prana tube is a big element. Kathryn had given me guidance to do something more with my prana tube, 3 breathing exercises. One is a breathing practice bringing in 5th dimensional energy and another is to initiate (for future use!!!) a manna program for my endocrine system where my body can be sustained (in the future!!!!) by producing and assimilating it's own energetic "food". I investigated "the endocrine system", drew a picture of the glands, and started doing the 3 breathing programs. My back became very sore. At first I thought I injured myself playing basketball. But dowsing indicated it is my adrenal glands shifting and taking in new energies. I did not even know where they were before. I was guided to do a lot of deep belly breathing today to allow the new energies to assimilate and to send the Divine love and light within me to those who need it most. I immediately think of Haiti and my nieces who lost both their parents in a plane crash in Nov 2008.
Thank you for sharing, listening and for participating in this wondeful shared adventure. Many thanks and love to Mike and Kathryn for co-creating this form of healing and ascension. Thanks to this amazing Universe revealing itself to us. Thank you all!
In the clearing of my prosperity channel my prana tube is a big element. Kathryn had given me guidance to do something more with my prana tube, 3 breathing exercises. One is a breathing practice bringing in 5th dimensional energy and another is to initiate (for future use!!!) a manna program for my endocrine system where my body can be sustained (in the future!!!!) by producing and assimilating it's own energetic "food". I investigated "the endocrine system", drew a picture of the glands, and started doing the 3 breathing programs. My back became very sore. At first I thought I injured myself playing basketball. But dowsing indicated it is my adrenal glands shifting and taking in new energies. I did not even know where they were before. I was guided to do a lot of deep belly breathing today to allow the new energies to assimilate and to send the Divine love and light within me to those who need it most. I immediately think of Haiti and my nieces who lost both their parents in a plane crash in Nov 2008.
Thank you for sharing, listening and for participating in this wondeful shared adventure. Many thanks and love to Mike and Kathryn for co-creating this form of healing and ascension. Thanks to this amazing Universe revealing itself to us. Thank you all!
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