the object stares back

I have been wanting to blog more but will make this a priority to blog now as this blog has been so helpful and has been my soul nourishment for giving myself the time to find out how intensive it is in breaking old contracts that are no longer my choice and effortless as well when considering all the the intensive energy needed for my body to hold them and the time consuming process to finally get into a rhythm so I no longer even have to think about it.
So appreciate the blogs re: relationship with meat as a recent transplant to a subsistence place of work, play and living more in a community life has also changed my relationship with meat and I am not sure if I have changed, the meat has changed or after reading today’s blog possibly the whole process has changed. I am the only non-hunter in the household but have observed how the animals would find themselves to the hunter in order to get to the person who needed it-this happening over and over again. So was somehow disturbed when observing the hunter planning to actively hunt for the animal(and even learning the whole process required to legally to this), but even this surprised me when at the place where this hunt was to take place there was an unexpected death in that community and so the hunter of this animal shared half of this animal with the grieving family. The deceased hunter of this grieving family was able to continue to provide for his family through the winter through this animal. The remaining meat that stared at me from the kitchen table and observing the time consuming process of meat being separated from bone and ligament and how each and every part was used for warmth and nourishment and this remaining half was also shared with others who needed it, can only be described as a labor of love. This is so respectfully honored in song, dance and story culturally as well.
I appreciated Kathryn’s blog about re-experiencing our acute symptoms of the disease as we are going through our cleansing in order to get to a higher frequency. In the form of a painful tooth infection whose same story had previously ended in surgery -and again I was being advised to seek medical attention and found myself looking at some very strong antibiotics I have been keeping on hand (so no I had not yet completely closed that door) and beginning to plan to fly into the larger city for help. I made a conscious decision not based on fear and instead to go into the pain and use the tools I have learned on this path- cranial sacral for release, the nurturing oils including german cammomile, juicing, garlic and ginger (which is so delicious when sick as my body was saying thankyou as it was getting just what it needed), and stayed in svavasana during a yoga class just to be in the peaceful energy of a yoga class and more cranial sacral releasing, etc. Was so amazed that the pain left as fast as it came and felt stronger in my affirmations that knowing and the medicine inside myself can heal my body.
Have been reading Thomas Elkins “The Object Stares Back: On the Nature of Seeing.” He describes how we know ourselves and the world through the things we see and the things we see are looking back-when we see something it also sees us. It is difficult to see some things –the sun, death, etc. He talks about mind blindness or closing off –the invisible new world-or even when my words stare back at me like a glass eye. An artists’ reference is visual-we think we see it but we don’t or can’t see it. He recounts the disturbing 19th century pursuit of women committing adultery who were put to death and how we perceive that –how we perceive stories through a physical reacting to a visual image-going thru everyday life and how this impacts us –when the senses are accessable and how we get thru certain situations. This seems to parallel the oil spill as the conscious/unconscious death of the mother earth treated as an object. Observing my subconscious reactions I am having toward what I am viewing-changing that perception –seeing mother earth as conscious and asking what does she want? What are my desires from mother earth? And even the seemingly incompatible-what are the oil companies desires -my socially conditioned response of built up unrealistic goals which cannot be filled by the products and services advertised by the oil company that lesson our quality of life. I am trying to look to a more positive –what is the higher good for all that might come from this invisible new world? Instead of just perceiving the bleakness of my concerns to look to the process that might change us all to some higher good? Visually creating things to close the gap-I so appreciate the assistance in opening up to my deficiencies in order to have the equipment or tools to perceive.
On a lighter note so exciting with a new baby in the family it is so beautiful to watch how a baby sees things, how he knows and understands the world by taste-without fear-not afraid to try or reach out and taste –open to explore. The babies language saying I want something and my attempts to close the gap of- I don’t speak your language –what do you want? For my family I will continue to detach with love and without expectations and hold the space that sees them healed and try not to be attached to their choices.
I am so appreciative for the upcoming ceremony may 16 final day of the blue wavespell and of the recent ceremony and the reminder that I have in my toolbox the blue road healing in which I burnt my cedar sticks for the completion and release of the old contracts and 12/60 ways, so thankful for the participation of the ancestors, and especially of the sharings of everyone in this blog that have somehow synchronistically assisted and guided with many of the changes happening in my life and will continue to assist with the many transformations to come, bringing past present and future together. Love and Light to All

A Proposal

The official final day of the 90 day journey is coming up around May 16, in case anyone else out there has lost their time line (I certainly have!). I would like to propose the final closing ceremony to be held on May 16 in the evening. It would be a 13 day, the final day of a blue wavespell, a storm day, and a portal-perfect day for ceremony.

If this feels appropriate, I will be doing ceremony for closure at that time.

Comments requested...
Kathryn