Blessings from the Ancestors

As Blew Thunder and I were driving back toward White Sage Landing yesterday, we had an opportunity to observe and process all we had experienced in the last several days. One of the reasons that Spirit had for us to make this journey now instead of another time only became apparent to us as we reviewed.

The medicine bird that appeared several times on our journey south to Mesa, and kept appearing over and over while we were there, was the vulture (some call it the turkey vulture because of his red, featherless head). The vulture was the bird that appeared at my side as we first arrived at White Sage Landing. It is a bird that holds the keys to shape-shifting, and is also a medicine for writers and teachers, especially those who live in solitude. I had understood that vulture would be helping me as I wrote the Food for Ascension book.

We had printed the first couple of copies of the book on our own printer as a test run, and gathered those together to take along with us as we left for Mesa. I had absolutely no expectation, almost did not even take them, since I know my family is not very interested in healing with food or the ascension process.

When we arrived in Mesa, I took the books in the house and showed them to my family, then set them on a coffee table and promptly forgot about them. They sat there the whole time we were visiting. Every time I went out, vultures magically appeared, one was even flying down to the ground and swooping up over my head, then circling back and doing it again! Blew Thunder called my attention to the writer's medicine all around us, and he connected the dots for me to see that the bird was making an acknowlegement of the completion of this book.

Then on the final morning of our visit, as we were preparing to leave, the strangest thing happened. We arrived at their house around 9:00 and walked in. Suddenly the "gates" had opened. My father said he had read the first two stories in the book, Kathryn and Michael's stories. Then my sister Carla asked if she could buy a book to take home-she had read the first two stories. Then my mother said she had read the whole introduction chapter and wanted to finish the book. Finally even Doug, my brother-in-law said he had read the first two stories. Everyone was excited about the book and naming people they thought would want one... So Michael and I left the books there with them and went on our way, amazed at the shift that had taken place without even an intention on our part.

Then, further in our drive, when we saw the vulture again, we both got it at once. This journey, on a spiritual level, was about receiving the blessing of our Ancestors for the book! Of course! We laughed.

When we arrived home this morning, we took the book to our printer and dropped it off. The first 50 copies will be picked up in a week. Food for Ascension Recipes will then be available for purchase through our website. It feels as though we have entered a new era of our lives together, like passing a major landmark. It feels good.

Kachina

connections to close strangers

After reading Michelle's most recent post, something has become so very clear to me...I too have been scared to have someone else "own" me. Never thought of the fear with that name before, but that is EXACTLY what I feel.

I recently married by best friend and soul mate in September who has been a part of my life for 13 years. I love him with every part of myself but have yet to take the steps to change my name...and I did not know why until now.

When I was 20, my parents announced they were getting divorced. At that time we (my now husband Chris and myself) where getting ready to move to Alaska. My brother was 13 and both my parents were so very distant and removed...a very hard situation to leave behind; But I did. I had to. I became such an independent person after that, but the scars of my parents divorce stuck with me and played a huge part in Chris and I not getting married (we actually discussed avoiding the process all together at one point), we always just said we were "too young". An excuse.

After 5 years of exploring the last frontier, something drew us back to Vermont and we left our dreamland behind. That something was our families...our roots...US. At that point we realized that marriage was not scary, not "bad", and we got engaged...a surprise to us both. A huge stepping stone in our relationship.

At the present moment, after accepting marriage into my life, I feel that I am still holding onto a little of that scared person that feels protective of the individuality that I created for my self...I think that is why I am having such a difficult time taking on Chris's last name. I want to move past that fear and encompass all that is me, including my husband.

So, here I am at another one of the 10 year marks as Michelle describes, looking 30 straight in the eye facing the same challenge of creating individuality but with a different set of rules from another perspective...huh. Life is so interesting!

I would like to create the intention to encompass who I am and my individuality by including aspects of all the people in my life. Chris is me and I him, my old views are no longer valid. I am an individual regardless of the name I carry, it does not change my values...my soul. I accept that and move forward, letting go of the past and past beliefs.

Thank you all for your help.

Less seeking, More learning

I am grateful for the lessons, the knowledge and the experience of this lifetime. I see and understand that the more I let go of the seeking of answers, the dissecting of moments, the searching for knowledge and the anxiety of whats next, I learn.

I have lived in constant change for the last ten years after, what I consider, hitting "rock bottom" and choosing to live. What is even more interesting is that I have essentially been reborn every ten years of this lifetime. When I turned 20, I gave birth to Zach, the child I believe saved my life. Now at 40, I am finally coming into myself as all the years previous have prepared me for. This time by conscious choice.

As of July 1, I no longer have a job, which I have created and I am not looking for a new one. Hurray! My husband has manifested the job he wanted and what appears to be a smooth transition for our move. We have shifted in balance of our roles as we awakened in White Sage. Not just with the "job" thing although that is obvious.


This is a long way to come for a girl starting adulthood as a mother, needing to prove the world wrong and stay off of welfare. The fearful woman who lost herself and fought back with monetary success and walls in place to keep her safe is whole. I am now a solid women finding strength in vulnerability. It came to me as I was filling out the paperwork to change my name, The fight in me is over.


Steve and I will renew our vows soon with new rings. When we married in the medicine wheel, we began with our intentions in commitment to ourselves and our own paths. Over the past 2 1/2 years that has been our lives, focused on self. We exchanged beautiful wooden rings, delicate and not resistant to normal wear. Most of the time they were off. A shift happened in White Sage and now it's time to move to the next stage. Partnership. We will exchange new rings. Solid rings and bury the old ones in the earth in ceremony of this new phase and gratitude of the old. During this 90 day journey, I healed another layer and I am ready to have his name. Part of my fight within was that I would never let another person own me again. When I married Steve, I refused to change my name. That has shifted in me and as it may just be a name, for me it is about being open to allow someone else in.


It's a beautiful realization to trust and allow as I am getting comfortable with living at turtle speed, at least on most days.


In gratitude and reflection, Michelle