The Path of Descention

Spirit & Soul. The first an ascent to union, our inevitable connection to all that is, was and ever will be. The next, a descent to unique, our individual expression of the universal Wow. Falling deep into the underworld sink of the soul, we’re forced to drop all pretensions & discover the gifts we’re meant to bring into our world. Flying high into the wilds of spirit, we realize that we all are one. Spirit animates the seed toward growth. Soul shines the flower, singular among the fields. Opposite but not opposed, together this polarity is a necessity that guides my days. And my nights. I am a burning comet of love heading straight toward Planet Me. Upon impact, may the whole feel deeply my part.

Rise up rooted! Root down ascendant!

I love you all - because we are one and because we are not.

I haven’t always been in the light, but I’ve always been in the field. I pray this 90 days has been as transformational and affirming for all of you as it was for me. Even if, here at the end, I still have a few pages left in my journal to complete.

Aho. Ma ta kwi asen.

Clarity in Heartbreak

Over the last week I have been in the middle of a hurricane of loss. One of heartbreak and rejection, a death process so great that it had quite literally brought me to my knees, on more then one occasion. Once again I have been called to walk the path of trust, during this process, by listening to this patient humble wise inner voice that will only speak to me once I've done the "ego dance" and then asked my mind to be quite so I may know the real truth of the situation and not the illutionary perception of my ego.

There are words flying at me from all directions, some at the speed of light, some that carry so much anguish in their delivery that my heart yurns, some disguised as cold and indifferent to show strength and protection. No matter where I look I am surrounded by pain, I am the cause of someone elses hurt and despair, I am the cause of my own unstoppable tears and I am the one apparently with the power to put to end, if you will, to this heightened, acutely painful experience of heartbreak.

All I see is the illusion, it shimmers in front of me and all around me. I stand in front of these people whom I have loved so dearly and who I continue to love, who are asking me to put an end to their pain by choosing to stand beside them.

My heart shows me a different picture. We are standing there together souls connected and whole. No pain, no suffering. This identification of who we are, the "I", the personality we have attached and identified with swirling about outside of our true souls. Engaging in this experience of pain, feeding on it and believing that it is the truth.

Perhaps there is more here then what meets the eye? Perhaps this isn't about how to stop the pain, maybe it's a beginning upon the path of feeling. A crack in a surface that has been bound so tight that without shattering first, nothing not even a true love, could penetrate that shield of protection. Perhaps this is an opportunity for growth and self discovery? An opportunity for re-birth and new beginnings.

If we could stop just long enough and sit quietly we might get a glimpse of the incredible gift that is being offered here but instead we attach and engage in the potentially toxic dance with pain and words. The cost, silencing that sweet guidance within, that will show you if you would only allow it too, that safe place where you can lay down and rest and glean a better understanding.

I am not the cause and I am not the solution. To fulfill the requests that have been laid upon my feet would be to choose a path of death for my own soul and would greatly limit and slow the growth of those who are seemingly effected by my actions and resistance to give in.

I love you and I see you whole. I refuse to take that from you by given you what it is that you think you want and need. It is simply and illusion. I cannot fulfill your heart, only you have the power to do so.
My prayer for you is this, sit quietly and breathe. Allow yourself to pull back all that you have put out there. The love you want to give to me, the happiness you want to create for me, turn it around and give it to yourself, first!
There is the lesson, there is the challenge.

Life is a beautiful intricately woven dance between pleasure and pain and if we let go of the attachment we can then experience how amazing and incredible both of these experiences are.

Aho

Healing for the Gulf Coast

Hello, I am making a new attempt to write to this blog. Yesterday I was unable to get it to work! Perhaps it is because I have so much more to say today than I did yesterday.

Much of my own focus has been on the healing process in the Gulf Coast at this time. The amethyst earth keeper crystal asked to be placed in direct alignment with the oil spill location in our medicine wheel.

Then the pinon trees that are currently very stressed as they are bearing the burden of release for human sadness, connected to Afghanistan,(another area connected with the oil industry that is out of balance!) had asked to have a special flower essence made which I was to place under 7 trees, which I did last week. Today I will walk the land and gift the essence to 21 more trees.

I was not making any connection between all of this. Then yesterday I had a physical experience that, along with Blew Thunder's insight, gave me a new perspective. My heart had begun to flutter and spasm, with very irregular heartbeats. This started a few days ago. I had done a blue road healing or two, but it had not completely gone away. A little cough had come in as well, which only happened when I tried to take a deep breath.

I asked Blew Thunder to help me move this energy, and he assisted by pressing on a rib that was sticking up in my chest on the left side. The rib went back into place with a snap. This was several days ago. At first it felt better and I thought that was the end of it.

Then it began to stick up again. the feeling in my heart came back, and another painful spot emerged on my back. It was as if I could feel a string of energy connecting the back to the front rib, going right through my heart, just like the ley line that connects White Sage medicine wheel with a mountaintop outside of Kabul. It even had a bluish color. Suddenly I began to bleed (sorry if this TMI for you guys!) and I knew my body was trying to physically clear something that was not really physical.

Then yesterday, it all came to a head. The pain increased to the point of not being able to lift my left arm. Once again, Blew Thunder offered help to move this energy. The rib was so tender that I wanted to shy away from receiving help, so I knew it must be exactly what I needed. Once on the massage table, we succeeded in opening the flow between these two areas, opening the connection into my core, and moving the whole pattern out.

I coughed and coughed as Blew Thunder opened my diaphragm. When we were finished, the rib was back in place, my heart spasm was gone, I once again had space in my whole body to breathe deeply, and every bit of the pain was gone. Today I am awakening to life in a whole new body. Such a miracle!

It was a perfect illustration for me to gain understanding of what has been activated between the White Sage Medicine wheel and Afghanistan, and how it is connected to the oil spill happening in the Gulf Coast. Blew Thunder awakened with the insight that the people who are really getting this lesson are the leaders of the oil industry. They are having another opportunity to walk through this experience and learn it so it does not need to be repeated.

Last time a spill of this magnitude happened (in Valdez, Alaska) there was an unfulfilled opportunity. The oil industry did not take responsibility, and greed got in the way of resolution. Most of the spill was not even cleaned up, and the penalties that were awarded to the local fisheries and people for their roles in clean up and as restitution, went unpaid for so long that many of them died before receiving anything. The oil industry leaders knew how to keep it all tied up in court long enough to let people forget.

So today, I went back into the medicine wheel and made new prayers for the leaders of the oil companies. I sent out the intention that their hearts would be activated, that they would begin to make the connection to their actions and the health of Mother
Earth. I intended that the oil bleeding would stop; that all the nature spirits and weather beings would help the clean-up effort, and that protection and healing would be provided for the birds, fishes, and wildlife in the area.

And I offered to do whatever else Mother Earth would ask me to do to support and assist this healing process. Then I opened Arvol Looking Horse's e-mail message, which I am sending out today. Arvol is the spiritual head of the Lakota people, keeper of the original pipe given to the Lakota by White Buffalo Calf Woman. He has traveled around the world doing ceremony and laying a foundation for world peace.

One more thing-I had errored in my typing-I represented the final ceremony day for the 90 Day Journey to be the 16th, I really meant the 17th, as you can see if you check out the Dreamspell calendar.

I will send it out via e-mail too.

Many blessings to all! Kachina