So Thankful

Today I am thankful for the validation that I am always taken care of, watched over, guided and helped, even when I forget to ask. So in love and so very, very grateful.

Aho,

Michelle

Badger...hahaha

So after the meeting I've had some swift realizations. I'm where I need to be for one but more positively I'm where I want to be. In the meeting Blew Thunder mentioned something about setting a high bar for himself. Out of the whole meeting that for me is what stuck clearly...badgering me (no pun intended) hahahaha. We, as a family, have talked about Michelle has set a bar to a level that is at the utmost of aspirations. I see now that it is all about choices and following the ideal at times. Amazingly as Blew spoke about looking at someone else and seeing how "more advanced" they are in their own process aka looking up to them, I have always felt less than. Why do I limit myself to being not good enough I ask? Because I have been given a contract that I embraced to do just enough to get by.

This meeting started the ball rolling for my guidance to kick in and really ask some obvious questions. I wrote in my book the next day, read a little, and spent some time just with and for me. Tuesday I was guided to do a reading. I received some new cards from Michelle for Christmas and use them when I feel like it and not always when I'm "told" to use them. That day I used them and received hilarity frankly. The messages I got from this reading were from Badger reversed (hahahaha) saying "Open your eyes crazy man, look at the big picture, get out of you own damn way." Another from Elk saying pay attention to your dreams and except self love. I received in the West direction the sweatlodge ceremony card, not coincidentally it says look at yourself for what you are and make the changes you want to make to be who you want to be...it's that simple.

Ok, Ok now moving on throughout Tuesday I thought about all of these things plus a bit more and decided to play a little drum and go into the medicine wheel. I prayed with my son and showed him a way to give thanks and make offerings to the directions. We spent about an hour and a half there but it felt like a minute.

Now last night I have this dream of only crickets and me drawing a bow and arrow. I laughed at how the crickets tickled my body. I couldn't believe how focused I became when I drew the arrow back releasing it at a target with a big red heart on it. So feeling the simple joy of the tickley crickets and the focus of the "heart" of the problem, which I found is me not following my heart it made for some great lessons and a new focus. The focus being that I'm allowed to set the bar at what ever level I want and I'm allowed to achieve that level by being true to myself.

I feel like what I've gotten myself into is looking at the same issues with the same set of eyes...not looking at the big picture. Also the heart on the target represents the correct path and the ease of following the arrow. Ultimately I'm excited for where I'm at in the West, with only one day left. Then I can join the rest of the group in the North whole heartedly as I will be fully there. Upward and onward, the last few days were a great few days for lessons.

Thanks
Eagle Eye

Into the North

We've just finished our talking circle moving into the North and I want to let you all know how deeply connected I feel to each of you. My heart is richly and fully expanded and I just don't want that to end. Blogging all night is not the answer but know I'm deeply loving each of you. Aho. Maggie

Facing reality hasn't been as easy as I would have liked it. I've been moving along in the West and have literally been faced with two deaths in the last three weeks. It brings about a view of how life can be present one minute and the next gone to another dimension.

A sobering look at my own existence hasn't really hit until I let it penetrate through this barrier I've been keeping up in my own reality. That barrier being myself, my choices. I have realized that I haven't been a good man. It wouldn't be difficult to find another man to equal or surpass my level of integrity or character. This is not a judgement placed onto myself, it is the in my face truth. I have been standing in my own way to be happy on all levels. I have figured out how to get out of my own way but that doesn't mean that I always do it. More often than not I continue to repeat the same actions, cycles, programs and processes that have existed in my life.

The last few days I have gotten more and more stiff in my body. My neck is to the point that I can barely turn it or look down. My lower back where my stone is pops and cracks as I get out of bed and move around. I believe that this is a physical representation of what my spirit, my soul is encountering when faced with myself. The obvious reality I'm facing is total re-form. The truth is I'm afraid of moving forward. I know that it isn't going to be worse than where I've gotten myself to at this point. In the 12 steps they say "my best decisions got me to this point" I'm not satisfied with where I'm at and my decisions have obviously lead me to here. I'm having trouble staying connected and making good choices all the time. Self-referal has become more difficult in the West than in the East or South.

This fear of the unknown makes me laugh when I actually sit down and look at it for what it is but when I'm stuck in the same repetition I find myself in my own way. I see where I need to go very clearly thanks to this process and guidance but I'm held here by my choices. My choice to embrace my patterns instead of trying something new. Staying in my stagnant stiff routine (body) accomplishing the same things. I have a question as to why I continue this behavior. Better yet why don't I choose differently. Maybe I don't know what other choices there are. Maybe I've gotten so complacent that some how this is as good as it gets. I know differently but there is something holding me here.

Today in the book I got to the point of acknowledging prior agreements and contracts. I feel like I've accepted these contracts as all there is. I'm ready to break them and find the courage to embrace the new. It seems that those decisions embrace a total life change; what I've been praying for and what my intention is to do. I keep asking myself if I'm really ready to let them go and then I'm faced with how I'm living my life today. There is little I'm satisfied with in my life today. So as I am faced with my reality daily the option to change gets more and more obvious. I'm still chanting "steadfastness stands higher than any success" knowing that there is beauty to embrace on the other side of this wall. A fuel that feeds this fear to move forward is the question: Is there always going to be another wall behind this one? Who knows? I'm ready to see. I'm ready to let go. I'm praying for guidance and the will to follow the guidance I receive.

Thank you Kachina and Blew Thunder for this walk as I feel that I am walking with you.

Aho
Eagle Eye

Right on Schedule

A few days ago I was a week behind in my journal and my process was in full force that I didn't even look at it. When I finally started feeling better, I picked up the journal and figured I would go as far as I felt I could.

I wasn't surprised but I always love the validation that comes when you realize that you are exactly where you belong and I am! During the week I journaled but not in my workbook and processed like crazy, still am :) and what surfaced as I dove into the workbook is that each day, I was doing exactly what the pages said. Recognizing my responsibility in creating my world, death of my identity, acceptance, forgiveness, contracts and letting go. I was happy to go through it a second go around and reinforce it in my soul. On this side I am grateful and joyful.

Thank you for this workshop, this group, Kathryn and Michael, the Universe, and all my relations. All that join me on this path, all who guide, teach and support me, I am ever so grateful and growing......

Michelle

Ask and Trust

In my dream last night, I was on an ancient piece of technology resembling a cell phone and couldn’t make it work properly. The connection was halting, fading in and out and never clear enough to hear much. I asked a friend to help me and he said he couldn’t; there wasn’t a 4G bone in it’s body. And then….

I was at the airport trying to make a flight but all these reasons/obstacles kept presenting themselves and the airline folks were trying to accommodate me, telling me the next counter I needed to go to or phone call I needed to make and the time for the flight was closer and closer and with all I had to do I knew I wouldn’t make the flight. Someone from a different airlines suggested they could help if I would just step over a short way to this counter. I began to tell about all the obstacles preventing me from getting on that flight. I knew the rules and knew there was nothing that could be done to skirt the things that needed to happen.

And with each issue I presented she would reply that it wasn’t a requirement, or sure we can handle that, or she would say, let me make a phone call and shortly all the obstacles had been broken down and resolved and she handed me a bill for my flight and it was $100 less than the other airline! Happily I joined others boarding the plane. Everyone filed onto the same plane, no matter what airlines had booked their flight!

I am so grateful for the simplicity of this message! When I went to bed last night I knew that I needed to withdraw from the Medicine Wheel Walk. I’m so far behind and feeling so overwhelmed, guilty, humiliated and just plain pissed off at myself for getting behind and feeling there is no way to complete this process. I prayed for the courage to say I needed to withdraw. This dream revealed so much about the way I do life! I’ve been trying to do this myself, to follow the rules, and to do it right based on my old ideas and all the ideas of so many other helpful people! Everyone has ideas (and many, many of them good) on how to get on the plane! If I ask Spirit for guidance it will be there. If I ask my Guides for help, it will be there. If I ask one or two very discerning people I know for an opinion, it will be there. My job is to learn to ask judiciously, and with full trust and knowing, that I will always get what I need. It is also my job not to take on unsolicited information and to be extremely discerning about what I allow into my field. Strengthening my prayer field and keeping my channel clear will keep me from being pulled away from my focus. Ask and Trust. Ask and Trust, Ask and Trust…..

As I was coming out of the dream I asked “but how will I do this” and heard clearly put one foot in front of the other and all the self-created obstacles will fall away….

In Gratitude and Trust,
Crystal Raven

Death as it comes

Dying a slow, painful and enlightening death........................

"Trauma in a child's life between the ages of one and seven can cause a tear in the embryonic ego matrix that destroys the boundaries of the child. The sense of self and ones sacred space is torn open and communication between self and other voices begin. A small child is not able to discern which voices are helpful and which are harmful and therefore may react in the direction of the harmful earthbound spirits." -Sacred Path Cards

This stands out so clearly as it resonates with my soul in this lifetime spent trying to discern and learn trust along with boundaries. Some hard lessons along the way and on the trail of the biggest death so far.......................

Michelle

The West Unfolds

Two nights ago, a woman from White Sage was traveling home at night. A black cow stood in the road, hidden around a twisting turn between two knolls. The woman never saw the cow, and hit her full speed. The cow and her unborn calf died, and the woman was unhurt, though very shaken.

After the accident, the local tow truck came and towed away the totaled vehicle. The cow's body was pulled off to the side of the road, where it has remained; bloated, slowly decaying, and impossible to avoid seeing while driving by. It is a constant reminder to us of death, the ever present companion to all life forms.

The neighboring cow herd moved down into the corner of their big pasture, where they could see our medicine wheel. They stayed there until today, gathered together in a tight little group, very unusual behavior according to what we have observed.

Then this morning, a Portal Day in the Mayan Dreamspell calendar, Michael and I went out to the Medicine Wheel. We called upon the helping spirits and angels, and asked for healing and assistance; that the cow who crossed over could be honored for her sacrifice. And we sang her a song.

I felt the feeling of relief and purpose as the heaviness in the air cleared. Then the day began to unfold in a magical way. We went on a walk; I had consultations by phone; Michael worked on maintaining the road; our local sheriff got stuck in the mud and Michael had to pull his vehicle out... It was a full and beautiful day, with sunshine and rain showers happening at the same time, making awesome beauty in the skies.

I am once again feeling the familiar quickening of life force I feel in the West; the feeling of death within and all around us, and the corresponding increase in vitality and sensitivity--like life and death are so entwined, they are really one. To feel life, I must allow death; to die is to be born. Everything is so connected.

In Gratitude,
Kachina

Unity Tone

Something I noticed with my last journal entry...I was toning with the Unity Tone CD and all of a sudden I went from a small room or space or enclosed environment to what felt like a huge amphitheater. It only came in small sections of time, though, when it clicked in and the tones matched as it were I immediatly transported to this huge space. I wish I could describe this feeling of movement while still. I was aware of my presence on my bed but also of a different very large but enveloped place. So bizarre and comfortable very open but echos that sounded close. Anyway, I thought I would share this experience sort of wondering if anyone else has felt something similar.
I've had some bumps with finding the motivation to move forward with the journal yesterday and the day before till this new experience. I'm deep in it again as new things and experiences open daily. I brought some corn meal up with me this time, and even though it is "illegal" to "dump" anything on the ground I have made some offerings. I believe Mother Earth and the Spirits have excepted them with love and gratitude as that's what I was feeling when I offered them. I am so grateful for this process; the West continues and I'm embracing the introspection to the best of my ability. Thank you.

Aho
Eagle Eye

Creating ways to learn about myself

It's amazing that while in the west everything has a way of turning me inward. I like to create sensory tubs for my boys to play in and for Feb. I made one with lavender rice and among many other things added shiny little red confetti hearts. it was fun but going into March I wanted to make a new one. What I thought was a process of separating to make a new tub turned more into a thought process of myself and how I do things.

I am one of those people who on a hike enjoy it along the way, right up to the point of seeing the destination, then I get excited and make a sprint for it or if it gets hard along the way I may give up, speed up to make it go faster or take more breaks and work to convince myself to keep going. I have over time recognized this and worked to slow my pace and enjoy the process of getting there rather than focused on the end result. What I experienced in this craft project was exactly that, the process my mind goes through while I am in action of something, anything.

The result, I sat playing in the lavender rice after the hour in a half it took to remove the confetti and forgot about the next project till quite awhile later. In the end I was able to let go of giving up and of being incredibly anal about getting every single piece. Hurray for being in the moment and hurray for the west and getting to know myself deeper and clearer.

I recommend this process to anyone looking for a deeper insight into the workings of the mind, it is quite rewarding.

Aho,

Michelle

Death

It's interesting how death sends a message of reality to me. A friend of mine died today. He was a genuine person that looked for the good in people. In October I sent him off of the slope in a medivac for treatment at the Anchorage Native Hospital. Prior to that I had a dream of him and a Large Owl in a storm on the slope. I explained to him that I had this dream and he frankly said you have sent me a death sentence. He said in his village (Ruby) if anyone in the village saw an owl they would shoot it in fear of death...as they believed that the owl was the messenger of death. I too agree that the owl is a messenger of death. My wife made it clear to me that that death may not just be that of life but to a behavior or pattern. That resinated with me. I explained that to Walt and he said that is not how it works. Further he said in his village if the the owl were to land on the property the property owner would be dead with in 3 months. He not only believed this but had seen it throughout his life. After this conversation he went out on his regular patrol on the slope and saw 2 owls. I didn't believe him at first then he showed me the pictures. The 2 snowy owls standing on the edge of the road. Then he looked at me sort of jokingly and said I'm gonna die...soon.

Now the crazy thoughts that come to me are if he were still in the village with his health circumstances he would have died within 3 months. With the "help" of modern medicine he was in extreme pain maxed out on morphine prolonging what spirit would say was inevitable. He was just about to be sent to the MAYO clinic in Seattle when they told his family that he was too weak to make the flight. They waited just a bit too long. He died 4 days later.

Now for me this is the second funeral I've been to in recent years. Both have made me realize how fragile life is. Not to mention that if I'm not doing what I really want to do and what really makes me happy why am I doing it? It's not ironic that we are in the West. There are no coincidences. I am on the slope right now in the dark of night, in 40mph winds, with leterally no one around in my building. I've stepped directly into the West with the catalyst of death to help me look at life. That I can be grateful for...sadly.

This also brings up a huge point that I need to make concerning myself. Usually, as I've said in the past, I tell stories. This after looking at the stories I tell would be one of those in hopes of getting some "oh, I'm sorry this happend..." blah blah blah responses. I need to make it clear that I have acknowledged that even in circumstances such as this my addict doesn't care where the attention comes from. Negative or positive it is a cunning bastard. So in light of this realization I have to thank Walter for this lesson so bluntly in my face. Also I would like to add that if you feel inclined to say something to me I would ask you not to and instead send your prayers to Walt for him to pass to the stars with ease. It is not me that needs your attention.

Thank you for your prayers and these lessons.

Aho
Eagle Eye

Walking the West-the Journey of Non-attachment

Stargazer Walks with Bears, thank you for the reflections on your Sacred Space. I too have been focusing on my relationship with sacred space, inside and outside, through the last couple of weeks.

I realize that I have been operating under the illusion of a holding pattern, all because I have been attached to the form of my fulfillment. For many years, I had used the Sweat Lodge Ceremony as my weekly--sometimes daily--form of rebalancing, connecting with the Spirit World, and realigning with my own divine purpose. I had only a minimal idea of how much that ceremony had influenced what I was becoming; not only spiritually and energetically, but also the physical effects of continually purifying my body through sweating.

Since we arrived here at White Sage Landing, there has been not one opportunity for us to hold our Sweat Lodge ceremony. This is going on 2 and 1/2 years. I check in with guidance, which was very clear even at the beginning of this journey, that there would be a space of time just living day to day and setting intentions in the local energy grid, building the medicine wheel, and living. The sacred ceremonial space would come later. Everything must unfold in its own natural timing--there is no other way!

So I have been consciously choosing acceptance and non-attachment every time I catch my mind trying to paint a negative story about this situation, perceiving it as a loss. How clever the mind is in its attempts to get me to buy in to its version of the situation! The part I was missing, which I had uncovered just before the West Talking Circle, was to embrace the acceptance of this situation as PERFECT for the part of the cycle I am in now, perfect for building my INNER sacred space and inhabiting it.

With this understanding, I am suddenly able to let go of the desire for things to be different. I remember that the Sweat Lodge Ceremony is inside of me now. It is like a flower that blooms once every few years, and I can remember that, since it is truly a part of me, it will emerge into physical manifestation again (in perfect timing) like a flower.

Living My Dream

I am breaking the silence that I have had during this Medicine Wheel Walk. My intentions were so strong and I had so much excitement at the beginning of this process and then it seemed to fizzle out. I let someone else effect my center.

I have been thinking that I have to do this perfect, I want to do it and I have to honor where I am in this moment. I only have so much to give, I have to reflect on where my energy is going or where I am allowing it to be sucked away.

I had an Earth Spirit come to me in the middle of the night, or shall I say early morning. Although I say I want to work co-creatively I still reacted with fear. Instead of checking in and seeing what this Spirit was here for, and what they wanted to tell me, I turned the light on. ; ) I went back to sleep and had a dream about places where I had allowed my self to separate.

As a child when my father passed, the feeling that he left, again with my brother, then my son. When did I stop dreaming and acting on my dreams?

Why is it that I feel I have to have a temple room all of my own to go and have time to reflect and connect?

What is keeping me from dancing my dream in my own living room? Where someone might see me?

My sacred temple is within and I want my space to reflect that back to me.

I know I am a dreamer and I am asking for the Universe to help me remember the passion and grace.

Aho - All Our Relations

Going Into The West

I was guided to the "Sacred Path Cards" and the "West Shield" appeared just in time to venture into that direction on this journey. I am very familiar and comfortable in the west but this time I received a message that I haven't heard before.

"Bear reminds us that the west is a place of all tomorrows. If you are afraid of the unknown, it may be time to clear away the fear. Strength to accomplish this clearing is Bear's greatest medicine. Call on Bear and feel the courage to meet the future and fill your spirit."

I honor Bear and give gratitude for our connection. This go around I ask Bear to walk with me as I seek wisdom. I go into this silence receptive and open to receive. I will digest the answers, integrate the information and discern my truth. Through this personal truth I will take action and this action will flourish because my goals are based on my heart which is truth. I understand that the opinions of others is my own limitation and I break that limitation through this knowledge and move forward in my purpose and dream.

I am humbly grateful, Michelle

Truth and Gratitude for my Wife and Family

With the stories that I have told throughout my entire life it is coming full circle that the truth needs to be revealed. I have, even in the last 90 day journey I was in, told stories about my family life, wife, kids, mom, you name it. I painted a picture of my family being ungrateful and I always had to pick up the pieces. I told these stories to look like the victim as that was the way I looked at my own life. The bigger part here is I, in truth, was looking for some sort of sympathy or "attention" in any way that fed my entity, my addiction. I've learned that I tell stories in very sneaky ways including to myself. I remember in the last group that I made it look like my wife left me to do all of the work around the house. Keeping up with our 5 kids, working my split shifts, never sleeping, always feeling the brunt of all of the duties. In reality my wife is/was wonderful. She did what she could do and I held resentments over her for what I felt wasn't enough (which is BS). I see that I have resented myself for some time too. My part that I need to own with this group and myself and hopefully everyone that is reading this blog especially if they were a part of the last group I was in, is that I have appeared with a mask on. What you know of me has just been the surface me. I have put my wife in danger with my addictive behaviors by cheating on her throughout our relationship. I have lied repeatedly to her, myself, my kids, my mom, and to you all for not owning my real truth; for not telling the whole truth. My whole truth is only now coming to light-which I'm grateful for. I'm commited to honesty, though it is not always easy to speak. I'm letting go of who I was and embracing who I want to be. In the past I've pointed the finger especially at my wife for all of the hate I had for myself. She has loved me so openly and I have betrayed that love by holding her in a place, in the place of everyone that has ever betrayed me including myself. She has always been the bad guy in my eyes...until recently. I couldn't in my life accept love and she gave so freely especially in the beginning that it made me resent her because of the lack of love I had for myself. She truly showed me love and the only thing I could do was push it away by running in some way. I love myself and I am finally enough. Realizing that has helped me to accept that love which has made it easier to release my wife from this "bad guy" position. I have to say this to more than just myself so it is known, I can't have secrets any more. With this acknowledged I'm moving forward in the process, praying, staying in self referral as much as possible, and truly looking at life like it is fun again instead of being the victim. I thank everyone for being a part of this group and a part of my journey. With gratitude Eagle Eye.

Celebrating with Good Food

A few years ago when I was introduced to core foods and this healthy way of eating, I always took a break when it came to holidays and went back to my old favorites, as they were what I knew about "treating myself".

I have learned over the years that treating myself means taking care of myself and I am so very grateful for this knowledge and understanding along with Kathryn's cook book.

Our " Roasted Roots" dinner was amazing (beets to make it Valentine red) and for dessert our family enjoyed the Papaya Brownies from the "Food for Ascension" cook book, what a treat and all without any guilt or feeling icky tomorrow...

Changes

Clearly this process is amazing. Realizations are flowing through me faster than they ever have. I'm stepping into the real me, the Authentic ME. Yesterday I woke up not ready to get up but did anyway because the longer I roll around the more frustrated I get. I prayed as my eyes opened -which is a new daily event- and walked downstairs. I could feel this dark, sorry for myself, energy that has been so familiar for so long. It was the victim, the ego, the "point the finger" energy I've had for so long. I can now distinguish between the two energies clearly. "Ready" I say to myself "to let this go." I prayed, I did a blue road healing, I consentrated on a quote, and stepped into this dark energy- as myself. It was clear that I was lighting up the darkness through the grace of Great Spirit. I continued to pray throughout the day and finally it turned off-disappeared as if it were never there. I think it was a test from my guides. I have always given up with healing myself. Always asking for help but never taking it, standing in my own way. Side note my wife got me a book by Rudolf Steiner entitled "Start Now" (not sure you could be more obvious) and in that book there was one line in particular that stuck out to me "the quote"... Steadfastness stands higher than any success. So here I am receiving this huge gift late in the afternoon. I learned how to receive yesterday. By the end of the night I was dancing in the living room with my wife and kids. I have never danced with them, always been too shy - too in my own way. Allowing huge gifts of freedom -freedom from this dark entity- to pass into me has become easier. I'm willing to accept ME, and that is beautiful. My intention is to continue on this new EASIER path and acknowledging the Authentic ME. Thank you for this journey Kachina and Blew Thunder. By the way I have kept up with the book and instead of it feeling like a chore it has become something I look forward to everyday.

In Gratitude
Eagle Eye

Transmuting Pain

As we move through life on an evolutionary path, all of us get to pass through the initiation of the transmutation of pain. One of the very best and clearest descriptions of what it takes internally to pass through this initiation and into a life without pain, is published in Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now. (Check out the blog entry--Dissolving Unconsciousness--posted on March 16, 2010).

Until reaching a level of higher consciousness, humans travel through life believing that we are victims of pain, that pain comes from somewhere or something beyond our control, and that everyone has to put up with pain in this life. We do not see that it is a choice that we have been feeding, and choosing, all of our lives. The transmutation of the pain body begins in that moment that we first begin to suspect that we are creating the pain we are experiencing, and that we are choosing it.

This is not an easy concept for us to embrace, as it exposes our true power, and the illusion of the ego, which tries very hard not to be exposed. It challenges us to dig deep into our own psyche, to find the underlying false beliefs that keep holding us in a state of victimization and powerlessness over pain. And finally, as we begin to close in on this initiation, we will be offered an opportunity to pass through, and transmute, our own pain.

Conscious preparation for this initiation comes through becoming more and more present in the experience of pain. The one, and really the only, lesson we must learn from pain, is SURRENDER. Pain gets worse when we try to ignore it, holding on to our own agenda regardless of the pain. We can learn to shut off pain, to push through pain, and even to transcend pain. These are all valuable lessons, and useful at various stages, but the only way to become free of pain is to learn to transmute pain. This can only be done by going consciously into the experience of pain, to its energetic source, and remain fully present in the pain, for as long as it takes to transmute it completely.

In learning the process of complete and perfect surrender, one must take their attention fully into the pain by going into its physical location. We keep returning the attention into the pain, over and over, as the mind begins to attempt to draw us out, into a mental "story" about the pain. This negative mental energy will keep trying to draw our attention out of the pain, and into story--always a story that casts us as a victim, a righteous one who does not deserve what life has brought, one who has no responsibility in the creation of the pain. This is the ego's way of generating more negativity, more energy to feed the pain body and keep it alive.

This transmutation will come for each of us. The light of our full attention burns through the pain and transmutes it into pure energy. We find that we have the power to transmute pain completely.

Many people do not pass through this initiation until they enter the dying process. You will see people in this process, as their body is breaking down, the light in their eyes becomes very strong. Through the experience of transmuting pain, the soul's light shines brighter and brighter as physical density is transmuted into light. We do not need to wait until we are dying to pass through this initiation, though. At one point in the process, each person will need to confront their fear of dying, as that is one of the ego's most powerful stories to maintain its control over our consciousness.

For more information on the exact techniques to pass through this level of consciousness, please do check out the title above by Eckhart Tolle.

In Love and Service,
Kachina

Hello again to everyone,
As I write and rewrite my affirmations nightly I am puzzled as to what exactly is meant in the health palace about pain by"mastering the lesson of surrender"- "once we we learn to surrender we are completely free of the experience of pain". At first I thought this was a referral to giving in to the rythym of pain which is a technique I use, then I thought this referred to my tendency to plow through things that maybe I should accept as too much at the expense of my body. Now I am guessing I have missed the point altogether which I really don't want to do so if anyone would like to share some insight into this I would be so appreciative as chronic and acute pain both compromise me at times.
In Gratitude, Dark Horse

The Liver's Role in Creating our Life Experience

Every so often, I have an opportunity to recall and then honor the huge role our livers have in creating our moment by moment reality. The liver is the largest solid organ (other than skin) in our bodies. It is responsible for many different jobs, one of the most important being transmutation.

When we experience excesses, cravings, or imbalances in life, blockages and stagnation occur in our energy body. On an emotional level, this looks like suppressed emotion; trying to stop the feelings, judging them, or keeping them "under control", creating a build up in stagnant energy somewhere in the body.

This almost always causes some form of anesthetization--seeking relief from feelings we don't want--by using food, alcohol, tobacco, pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, or even some type of behavior to carry us out of this uncomfortable stagnant and blocked space.

On a physical level, as we are ingesting or participating in something to avoid the experience we are avoiding, the substances we take in carry a certain frequency. We will take them in an excessive quantity, using more than the balanced body would allow, and over riding the signals to stop that our body might be sending us.

Our liver must then work very hard to transmute these substances or metabolic chemicals and by-products of our excessive behavior. Instead of completing the job, a liver in overwhelm will simply store the toxicity in "safe" little storage units, getting it out of the blood so our bodies can continue to function, but not having enough energy and time to process and transmute these chemicals for elimination.

Now they are sitting there, just vibrating at the frequency level of whatever substance they came from: alcohol, drugs, overeating; and holding the emotional energy signature of that substance in our bodies. Eventually we will become so uncomfortable with this toxic baggage in our livers, that we will repeat our craving and excessive fulfilling cycle until the feeling goes away again--temporarily, while actually adding to the liver's overload. It is the cycle of addiction in the physical form.

These toxic liver accumulations create mood swings, depression, anger, frustration, resentment, and victimization within our emotional body that keeps this cycle in place. This is why dietary change, and herbal cleansing to initiate the clearing of this toxic build up is SO IMPORTANT in healing any addictive cycle. And it is not going to be "over" in a few months or even a few years--where we can now forget about it and go back to living the way we used to.

Instead, we have to choose the path of healing and becoming more conscious--over and over again--and make it a way of life. Healing is not a destination, it is a life path. Liver cleansing becomes a permanent part of our reality, along with a new way of eating, and a new way of thinking, losing self-judgement, embracing forgiveness, and reclaiming our power and responsibility in order to leave resentment and victimization behind. It becomes the walk of a Master, one that we may spend a lifetime 'mastering", and one with a profound growth potential on every level.

Many blessings for each of us on this path of healing and cleansing! Though we ALL underestimate the level of cleansing needed to experience the kind of life we want to live, we will always get little reminders that put us back on track...

Kachina